“Christ.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, the galloping of my heart against my ribs so painful that it might bruise. So many words crossed my mind, none of them kind or helpful. Despite Simone keeping her pregnancy from me and choosing not to be a part of our lives, she was Gwen’s mom. She had kept her safe while pregnant and knew that she wasn’t the right parent for her. That took courage, even if I didn’t understand it. “Are you asking me what to do? You don’t get to waltz into my house and get to enter the family you left. It doesn’t work that way.”
She looked at me with so much sadness swirling in her eyes. “Then what should I do? Are you saying we don’t have a chance?”
“You and Gwen? I’d never stop that, but I don’t trust you—”
“No, you and me. Do we have a chance?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the point?” She groaned into her hands.
“The point is we have a fucking daughter who should be the top priority here, Simone. Not you. Not me. That’swhat you’re still not getting. We can co-parent, if you want that path and are willing to do the work.”
“I don’t know if I do, okay? I don’t know if this is what I want or if I’m being pushed this way. It sucks!” She stood up and paced, tears on her face now. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna be here.”
“Then what do you want from me? How does Gwen fit into this?” I softened my voice not to scare Simone, because I was a big dude. My voice also had a bark to it when I was pissed. Like now. “Look, I can’t help you until you figure your shit out.”
“Maybe I hoped you’d tell me to get lost or that you’d never let me see Gwen. Then I’d run.”
“You wanted someone else to make the decision, but that’s not going to happen. Only you can figure out what you need. I will never be a couple with you, but I’d let you in Gwen’s life because she deserves to know you.” I exhaled and rubbed my hands together to warm my fingers. The adrenaline crashed, and now a bone-deep cold made me shiver.
“I thought you’d be meaner, make this conversation easier to leave.”
“I’m having a lot of thoughts I’m not sharing, but you’re not a cruel person. Selfish, yes, but not cruel.” The brief time we were together, a few weeks, she was wild and fun. No-strings-attached hooking up, no feelings or expectations. It was a great time pre-fatherhood. She was kind to everyone we interacted with. Immature, sure. A hot mess? Also yes. But cruel? No.
I still couldn’t believe she was here. I hadn’t heard a word from her since she left.
She stared up at the moon and sighed. “Can I give your number to my parents? They want to meet Gwen. Maybe they could call?”
“To start, yes.”
Fuck, this was going to be messy. Gwen would have grandparents but no mom on that side? But what about the Calhouns? Or Charlotte? My stomach cramped. Was this something Charlotte and I could navigate a week into being together?
Fuuuuck. This timing couldn’t be worse.
“I’m sorry, by the way. For springing this on you, for complicating the beautiful life you’ve built for Gwen. I still don’t know if I want to be a mom or be a part of her life yet, which isn’t fair to you at all.”
“It’s not fair to our daughter. I’ll be fine regardless.” That sharp tone returned at how selfish she was being. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored it. I’d call whoever it was back. I pressed the side to silence it and continued, “Look, I’m not sure us talking in circles is helpful. Give my number to your parents, and I’ll work with them on meeting Gwen. I won’t ignore your calls next time, but call me, don’t show up.”
“Okay, yeah.” She wiped her eyes. “Thank you for being kind about this.”
“Don’t give me a reason not to.” I met her gaze. “The only thing I will not budge on is you or your parents meeting Gwen without my permission and me being there. Thatis unforgivable to me. I’ll work with you in any way, but you ignore my wishes, things will be more difficult.”
She nodded, a hurt look flashing across her face. “I would never—”
“You showed up atmy house. Gwen is the light of my fucking life, and I’m not willing to take any chances with you or your family.” I stood and ran my hands over my chest and stomach, the thudding of my heart causing my entire body to vibrate.
“I understand.”
“We’ll talk soon then.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked back to my front porch, absolutely torn up about what had happened. Could the mother’s parents have any rights to the child if the father was in the picture? Did they have any chance of taking Gwen from me? Or did Simone? I wanted to triple check everything to protect my daughter. I didn’t trust Simone at all, and the flutter of worry expanded through my entire body. So I did what any grown man would do in this moment. I called my parents. They’d know what to do. Even thousands of miles away, they’d talk me off this cliff.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHARLOTTE
Even though I had mentally prepped for this exact moment, seeing the email in my inbox caused a visceral reaction. Sweat pooled on my lower back, my breath caught in my throat, and it felt like I had slipped on black ice.
