The difference between then and now? The all-encompassing attraction that we both felt. I liked facts and using logic for making decisions, and it was becoming clear that Callum and I could actually work. What a wild thought.
We just had to make sure it stayed hidden.
18
CALLUM
Iloved road trips. Some guys hated the travel, but if they wanted to play in the NFL, they had to get used to it. There was a difference between a charter bus and flying a private plane for sure, but this was part of the package.
Playlists to get me hyped the whole drive.
The smell of the equipment bags and beef jerky. I had to eat it on game days. It was a ritual I would never change. I liked sitting in the back and thinking about ways to build up the team and diffuse any situation. Like Christopher’s girl had broken up with him last night, which dick move on her part, but I needed to check in on him to make sure he wasn’t in his head too much.
Xavier was getting a little too cocky, and that would come through his playing if he didn’t take it down a peg. I’d handle that too. Navigating humans and bringing out the best in them was so damn fun. That fueled me. The same uncomfortable pang filled my chest about the future. Did it contain football or did it not? I lived in beautiful denial that I didn’t need to worry about what was next until the season was over, but it didn’t feel that way anymore.
Saying goodbye to a sport I’d spent my whole life with seemed radical and painful, yet there was a sliver of relief in there that kept growing. Would the guys judge me? No. Never. But was the pressure I felt put on by society versus what I wanted?
I had to figure that out. Maybe tomorrow.
I’d also have to handle the rule Ivy set, where no one could know we were together now. Even thinking about her had me grinning like a damn fool. She sat in the front row of the bus, right next to Abe. Ugh. That dude was annoying.
No, he’s not. He’s good at the job.
You’re jealous because she laughed with him.
Can you shut up?
I shook my head and lifted my gaze over all the seats. Ivy’s blue bow stood out, and seeing that ribbon had me itching to talk to her. I had thought about her and our kiss no less than one million times, and I wanted more. So much damn more with her. It was like a part of me not only came back to life, but I was filled with a new purpose. In the few weeks she’d been back in my life, everything made more sense. Colors returned to their normal hue. I didn’t care if that was sappy or weird as fuck since it was true. She mattered so much to me. The reason I was always so over-the-top or confident or goofy was because no matter how extra I was, she was always there for me. Her support never wavered, and it provided me with such a unique confidence that I’d be an idiot to ever let her out of my life again. Ivy was…just fucking perfect. Her cute-ass bow and long hair… I itched to touch it and pull the end, just to hear her gasp and see her narrow her gorgeous green eyes at me. I wanted to respect her lead around the team, but fuck, it took a lot of self-control.
Callum: is texting you how badly I want to kiss you allowed?
Ivy: no!!
Callum: and why the hell not?
Ivy: Because abe could see.
Callum: ABE shouldn’t be sitting so close to you where he could read your messages.
Ivy: I’m changing your name in my phone.
Callum: Oohhh like daddy or boss man or alpha sexy pants?
Ivy: *eyeroll* you are an idiot
Callum: YOUR idiot
Ivy: Toolbag
Callum: 2/10 for creativity, you can do better.
Ivy: shouldn’t you be focused on prepping? Princeton is reading an entire playbook and muttering to himself. It’s kinda cute.
Callum: Princeton is not cute. Are you trying to make me jealous?
Ivy: JEALOUS? Come on.
Callum: You’re sitting with Abe and calling Princeton CUTE. How am I supposed to behave when I want to kiss you and tell everyone on the damn team you’re with me? I’m feeling cavemanlike.
