The morning after watching the girls get tattoos, it hit me that I hadn’t thought about Jessica in days. There were no reminders of thinking I was a father, then not, then being lied to. The ache in my chest eased a little, and breathing wasn’t as hard. I went through some exercises the counselor suggested, where I wrote out what was in my control and what was out of it. It was freeing in a way.
As I ate cereal and wasted time on social media, I could legit feel my muscles loosening as I jumped to Mack’s page. She posted all the time with her series of information. She had thousands of followers and was so damn cute. A recent one caught my attention because of her rainbow hair.
I clicked on it, and she went into five ways to stay hydrated if you were playing outside in the summer. She then shared her favorite post-workout drink recipe. It was clear she loved doing this, speaking to younger players, and pride ballooned in my chest.
“When are you telling your sister?” Luca joined me at thebreakfast table, his usual face set in firm lines. “This is the second fucking secret I’ve had to keep from her, and it’s getting old, Romano.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, playing dumb. Using my looks to feign lack of intelligence helped from time to time.
“Shut the fuck up withwhat do you mean,”he growled, dropping down at the table with a loud thud. He then scooted the chair forcibly, so he was closer to me.
Okay, so Luca knew.
Guilt swirled in my gut as I closed my phone, Mack’s voice disappearing. “What am I supposed to do, Luca? Mack and I are having fun, and it’s no big deal. It’s just a summer thing. It won’t last, itcan’t.So why bring drama into it?”
“Because you’re fucking around with Lo’s best friend, who has a massive crush on you. You ever think that you’re going to break her heart? You’re a player, dude. I love you like a brother, but you break hearts. How do you think Lo is gonna feel if you kept this from her intentionally, then break her friend’s heart before their senior year? After you’ve held her at a distance, and you just made up. She’s never gonna forgive you.”
I frowned. He was right, and it sucked. “That’s not… I’m not a player anymore.”
“Doesn’t work like that.” Luca pinched the top of his nose. “Lo is not an idiot. She knows about Mack’s crush, and thank you for finally telling her what went down with Jessica. But you’re walking a fine line of assholery right now. What’s really going on? I want to understand it.”
“Mack makes me feel worthy of shit, okay? She’s a breath of fresh air. She doesn’t give a shit that I play football, and I needed that after all that with Jessica and the previous hookups. She’s fucking smart and way too mature for her age. She makes me laugh. Dude, I like being around her. And she’s the firstwoman I’ve been into since that went down. It’d beenmonthsbefore her.”
Luca’s eyes widened, and he placed his hands on the table, intervention style. “Dean, this isn’t just a summer thing. What you just said? That’s how I feel about your sister. That goes deeper than a fling.”
“Nah, it’s just the list she has. We’re completing it together, then parting ways as friends. We talked about it.” Even as I said the words, they felt wrong, shallow. Did we truly talk about it? Mack alluded that she wasn’t in my league, which pissed me the hell off. Did I need to revisit it to make sure we were on the same page?
Probably. Yeah. I should, to be safe. We couldn’t continue because football had to come first for me, soccer for her. She told me she didn’t want a boyfriend, and I sure as hell didn’t want a relationship. Not for a long ass time.
“Fuck, you’re annoying. I’m telling you I went through this same shit with your sister. It’s not going to end well. I know you went through some horrible stuff with Jessica, but please don’t hurt your sister. I can’t…Lo matters in this.”
“OfcourseLo matters in this. Don’t twist my words. I’d kill for my sister, and I appreciate you looking out for her, but what do you think is going to happen? Mack and I are on the same page.” Anger and pride flared beneath my chest, warming me. He was protecting Lo, which I loved, but not at my expense.
“You’re gonna be a dumbass, and Lo is gonna side with her best friend, and I’m gonna side with Lo. So, this shit better be worth it because at some point, the three of us and probably Callum are gonna be pissed at you.”
“You’re flirting with being dramatic right now, Luca,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I don’t like it.”
“If this is real with Mack, thentell her.Tell Lo. Let me goback to being the guy who doesn’t care about feelings. It’s exhausting caring so much.”
My lips twitched. “Lo does that to you, makes you feel all sorts of things, huh?”
“It’s annoying, but I’ll do anything she asks.”
“Hey,” I said, kindlier. He met my gaze. “I’ll figure it out with Mack so no one is hurt or upset. I promise.”
“Good. Because I’ve seen you be a dumbass before, and I’d hate for you to hurt yourself or Mack in the process.” He tapped his fist on the table. “Good talk. Now leave me alone.”
“You approached me, bro.”
“Shut up.”
Grinning, I watched my tight end walk away, shoulders bunched, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. He was such a sucker for my sister. He was right though, and the thought unsettled me. The idea of hurting Mack or my sister caused me physical pain in my chest. That was the last thing I wanted. Reminding Mack, and myself, that we had a timeline would help.
I took another bite of cereal and checked my calendar. Coach wanted to meet after the holiday weekend, but besides some gym time, I had nothing. All I wanted to do was call Mack and see if she needed help with something, like one of her Insta stories or coaching younger kids. The urge to see her 24/7 was new for me, but it was nice. My teammates were busy this summer with family, working out, or jobs, where I needed a new bud. Sure, she was hot as hell, and I knew how she sounded when she came, but she was still my buddy. It was normal to want to hang out with friends all the time.
Once school started, I wouldn’t have a spare moment to think about her. I spun my phone on the table, fighting the urge to text her when my phone buzzed.
The inexplicable swoop of my stomach was annoying when her name popped up.
