“Noted,” I said, unable to form more words when she kept her hand on my beard. She had to feel how electrifying her touch was, how it lit me up inside out. She narrowed her eyes for a beat before letting go and jutting her chin to the ground.
“You put up a tent before?” she asked, stretching her arms over her head and exposing her trim stomach.
I stared for a second before shaking my head. “Nope.”
“Me neither.” She put her hands on her slim yet curvy hips and hummed. “Let’s give it a try? We’re smart and capable. Can’t be that hard.”
It wasthathard.
It took an hour and three YouTube videos to get the tent up, but we did it. One very big factor stood out to me though as she put her arm around my waist once we finished and leaned into me, engulfing me in her floral perfume.
It was tiny.
“I feel like a proud parent. This is our little tent baby.” Maddie rested her head on my bicep since that was where her height ended. “They grow up so fast.”
I snorted. “Shut up.” I shoved her off me, causing her to push me right back. We did a mini push fight for thirty seconds before we both were laughing. But the moment came back to me. “We can’t fit an air mattress in here.”
“Nope. Just me, you, and the ground.” She shrugged, like it was no big deal to sleep next to me in this tiny closet of a tent. I’d have to bend my legs to fit. I ran a hand over my chest, panic fluttering in my gut. I’d been able to hide my attraction to her for years, to the point it had grown painful.
But being in there, that’d be tough.
“Drinking games start in ten minutes, people,” Becky, her stepsister, yelled. “Be ready for Christmas trivia!”
Maddie slid me a look, warmth entering her eyes. She squeezed my forearm, her smile causing a tightening in my chest. “Thank you for coming with me.”
There was a weight to her words, something I couldn’t quite grasp, and I brushed the warning bells away. “You didn’t give me a choice.”
“Mm, I recall I asked, and you said yes.” She wet her bottom lip, her face set in determination.
I knewallher faces, emotions, and tells. She was feeling feisty, which meant more teasing and probably more casual touches that set my blood on fire. I frowned, suddenly hit with a sadness that didn’t fit the mood. Was it possible to mourn something that could never be? It’d be so easy to pull her close to me and kiss the hell out of her until her face was flush. Grip her perfectly small tits in my hands and feel the nipple rings against my palms, lick every part of her body so I could memorize what she loved.
Life with her made sense in my head, but it was time I let that dream go. Things had to change for me after this weekend. I’d step back, set more boundaries. Force myself to try dating and forget the Maddie fantasy.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and took a step back. “I think I need a drink.”
“Should we get our sleeping bags ready before the libations start?” she asked, a worry line appearing between her eyebrows. “In case we become rowdy?”
That appearance of the little line made my gut tighten. She knew I was acting off, weird. I forced a smile, not wanting to upset her. “Sure, great idea.”
Her frown grew but she didn’t say anything. We walked to my car and got our sleeping bags and duffel of clothes, and I volunteered to lay the bedding down so I didn’t have to see her ass as she bent over. Our tent was ready.
I just wasn’t sure I was.
CHAPTER THREE
Maddie
Matt was acting weird. Different. Distant, almost. Yes, I had some beer brain, and I might’ve already done two shots of whiskey because hello, it was cold as hell, and I was outside in the wilderness, but Iknewhim. He faked his smile and chose to sit on the other side of the fire hours later. Not next to me. Next to Alex and Becky who, up until this point, I wasn’t even sure he liked all that much. He tolerated them when they joined our get togethers. He could fool everyone else in the world butnot me.I stared at him until he met my gaze, and I arched one brow.
His dark eyebrows furrowed, and he narrowed his eyes.What?
I jutted my chin to the chair to the right of me. It sat empty. One of Alex’s groomsmen had taken residence there but got up to pee for the millionth time, and I wanted Matt there. He made everything more fun and tolerable, like this ridiculous game we were playing where we had to hum a holiday song and guess it before the other team. I loved the holidays, but it was the first night, and I was leaning more toward #teamgrinch at this point. Hiding in a cave, away from people and games and singing, sounded way better than this shit. But that was why I wanted Matt near me, to make it more enjoyable, but the dang guy avoided me.
He pursed his lips, and the frown deepened. I did the gesture again, more aggressively, and made my eyes bug out of my head.It was to the point my worry grew to more than justis this in my head.I’d upset him somehow, and that made my stomach turn. If I had to make a list of the people that mattered the most to me in the entire world, Matt sat at the top. My dad was second, then my feral sister who lived across the world, then Becky. Matt was always first. He sat frozen, and I mouthedplease.
Something flashed in his eyes, the reflection of the fire dancing in them, but it got him to move my way. He pushed up from his spot, grabbed another couple of beers, and plopped down with a sigh I felt in my toes. “Happy?”
I leaned over the armrest and poked his arm, hoping to hide my inner turmoil. He barely even looked at me and stared at the fire, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. “You’re grumpier than normal. Is it really that bad being out here, away from it all?” My voice grew soft and quiet. I prided myself on being cheery all the time, but a sliver of vulnerability snuck out at thinking I’d hurt him. My world wasn’t right without Matt in it.
