I pinched the nerves and pulled back so I could admire her. I wanted to watch every piece of her as she fell apart from my hand, and oh baby, it was fucking gorgeous. She breathed heavier, biting down on her lip as I thrust two fingers into her. She was soaked for me, and I wanted this to last.
I alternated my pace to draw out her orgasm. She clenched around me, her pulse pounding at the base of her neck when she finally came. Watching her fall apart would forever be ingrained in my mind. She shook, cried my name, and with her flushed skin and sedated smile, she was perfect. “God, Maddie,” I said, emotion clogging my voice.
“I know.”
She crawled over to me and removed the rest of my clothes, kissing me with a new fervor. She pressed her lips all over my skin—my neck, chest, stomach. If I wasn’t mistaken, her hands trembled as she pushed me to the ground. She pumped my cock a few times before sliding herself onto me. She was so goddamn tight, and she arched her hips, taking me deeper. I gripped her waist hard and let her set the pace.
She tortured me with a slow rhythm and hungry kisses. She wasn’t rushing this at all. It felt in a way like she wasmaking loveto me and fuck if it caused my heart to flutter. With the sound of the rain and the smell of nature, we enjoyed each other’s bodies until we came together. No words were needed when we finished, and I tucked her in my eyes as we fell asleep.
The fantasy could end tomorrow.
CHAPTER NINE
Maddie
He’s always loved me.
The words pitter-pattered around my brain, over and over, like the rain hitting our tent. The more I thought about Becky’s words, the less crazy it seemed. But if it wasn’t crazy, why did I not realize it?
My gut tightened, and I knew the answer. It was because I’d always kept Matt separate from everything else. There was the world, then him. His stayed in his own section of my heart where he was untouched. I wasn’t sure I wanted that anymore…
The sex was incredible, and the fact I didn’t have to be anyone but me? Was this why people dated for real? I snuggled closer to him, breathing in his musky scent. Even with swimming in lake water, he smelled woodsy. His heart beat steady under my hand, and I ran my fingers through his light dusting of chest hair.
I’d tried bringing the question up a couple of times, and he’d avoided it. I let him because his body distracted me in more ways than I wanted to admit, but it was obvious we needed to talk about us and what happened next.
I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew I didn’t want this to be the last time.
“Mattie,” I whispered, pretty confident he wasn’t sleeping. “You awake?”
“Yeah.” His tone had an edge to it. He moved his thumb to rub small circles on my lower back, but the rest of his body tensed.
“What is this?” I asked, my voice small and lacking my usual luster. A part of me knew that things would never be the same. Good or bad, our relationship had shifted into a new category, and that terrified me. Not a lot made me cry, but losing him would destroy me. “What…are we?”
He sighed, the cords in his arms clenching. “We don’t have to be anything.”
I frowned. That was a very anti-Matt answer. “What do you mean?”
“Look,” he said, swallowing and no longer using any sort of sweet tone. If anything, he seemed angry. “We’re two consenting, single adults who fooled around one weekend in a tent.”
Two consenting adults. One weekend. Fooled around.
Those weren’t words of someone whosecretlyloved me. Those were the same words I used all the time with flings or with people who didn’t matter the same way Matt did. I sniffed as my eyes stung just a bit. I wasn’t expecting a full rejection or a declaration of love, but this indifference slayed me.
I chewed my lip and tried to think of how to respond. Did this mean we would go back to normal, pretending we didn’t know each other intimately? Or acknowledge it in a memory? How did normal people have hard conversations like this? My insides were a hot mess. “Um, okay.”
“This doesn’t need to be a big deal. You do this all the time.”
“Sure, but youdon’t,” I fired back.
His answering silence made me glad there was no light. Just the sound of rain and our breathing. The lack of response grew and grew, making the balloon in my chest tight and about ready to burst. Being naked made me feel exposed, vulnerable. Had I ruined everything by believing Becky? What if Matt didn’t love me like she’d said?
I knew things would shift between us, but what if there was so much damage we couldn’t go back to normal? “Matt, please, what does this mean?”
“It means,” he said, trailing off and huffing like I was annoying the hell out of him. “We had a good weekend together. That’s it.”
That’s it.
A good weekend together.
