I watched him and Alex joke around, their banter making me smile because they were both grumpy and mad at the world, but they’d found their people. Finding your people was the whole point of life.
So, was Cal my person?
Yes. He was worth waiting for, but were we like Gabe and Dani? I chewed the side of my lip to the point I had to reapply lip balm four times. The final time, Cal stood in front of me and held out a hand. “Ready?”
I nodded.
My palms were damp with sweat, but if he noticed, he didn’t say a word. He intertwined our fingers so our palms had nospace between them, and he guided us toward the door. I waved at Alex who rolled their eyes, mouthingfinally.
Cal walked so quickly I had to move twice as fast to keep up. I almost tripped on a crack in the sidewalk, my shoes making a scuffing sound.
“Shit, you alright?” He stopped and glanced at me feet.
“You’re in a hurry, couldn’t keep up.” I forced a smile, which he returned at first. But then, the smart guy he was, he frowned. His gaze moved between my eyes, his hand coming up and resting on my collarbone.
“We don’t have to do anything when we get upstairs, okay? We can talk, eat, watch a movie. It doesn’t matter. I’m in this for the long haul, so we can go as slow as you need.”
My lip trembled. “I’m so sorry. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.”
“Hey, whoa.” He moved the hand to go over my heart. “Nothing is wrong with you. You’re the best person I know.”
“Then I shouldn’t be worried right now.”
“You’re allowed to freak out whenever you need to. There’s not a rulebook on feelings. Trust me… I know.”
I snorted at his attempt at humor. He stared back at me, his eyes filled with warmth and support and love. It gave me a little more confidence. For a moment. “When I convinced myself you’d never want to be with me, it was easier. Safer.”
He nodded. “It’s terrifying.”
“We could hurt each other.”
“Yes, we could.” He smiled softly, gently. “But what if we don’t? I’ve hated the idea of hope because it was fickle. Fleeting. Dangerous.Hopingfor things didn’t make them true, but since you came into my life, I don’t fear it as much. You make me wish for things. I’m going to fuck up, often. I’ve never been a partner before, and I’ll struggle with voicing how I feel. But I’ll try really hard, all the time.”
His voice went deeper as he brought his hand to my hip. “I hope I can be a partner you’re proud to be with.”
“Goddamn it, Cal.” My eyes pooled with tears, and I hugged him hard. “I’m already proud of you.”
“This is a good hug, right?” he asked, picking me up so he held me entirely off the ground. His muscles hardly tensed as he started walking toward our building.
“Yes. A very good hug.” I breathed in his clean scent, knowing he was right. It would be terrifying, and for a girl who’d dreamed of romance, I’d frozen when it happened to me. His warmth radiated to me, and I held on tighter. “I can be a good partner to you too. I’d never come between you and hockey. I’ll give you space when you need it. Even when you do go to the NHL, I’ll stay with you.”
I could picture it now, Dani and Gabe and I watching his games. Cal and I FaceTiming when he returned to the hotel room. Laughing and saying how much I missed him. Him coming back to me after a road trip. I could envision it all and wanted it so badly.
He squeezed my thighs. “I know.”
“You mean so much to me, Cal. God.” I snuggled into his neck, breathing his soapy scent in. Then I pressed my lips to his skin. He shivered, and it hit me that I’dmadehim shiver. Cal Holt.
The guy I’d crushed on for two years from afar. The guy who loved his parents so much that he’d become lost for a little while, and I wanted to bring him back.
He hoisted me onto one side, opened the door to the building, and walked us in. The cool air blasted us, a break from the humidity and heat of the bar. He pushed the button, calling the elevator, and then we went in. It was just us, and the ride was short, but Cal pressed my back into the wall and looked down at me. Everything was heightened. The smell of the elevator, likedamp carpet. The cold press of the wall on my back. The heat of his touch and warmth of his gaze. The feel of his breath on my face before he bent low and kissed me. Oh,baby,he kissed me, slow, long strokes of his tongue and gentle touches of his lips. His heart thudded against mine through his chest, his hand moving to cover my throat. “No one,” he said, kissing down my jaw. “Has impacted my life like you.”
God.I shivered. Those words meant everything from him. I gripped his shoulders and slammed my head back into the wall when he nipped my earlobe.
“You’re the best part of my day.”
“Cal,” I said, panting at this point. His words were a comforting hug, reassurance I hadn’t known I’d needed. He could crush me, totally destroy me, but if the guy who lost so much would take a chance on us, so would I. He wasn’t the textbook version of a romance hero, but he was mine.
The guy who brought me snacks.
