I laughed and kissed her again. One, because I could and two… because she tasted so good and made me happy. “I’m sorry I did that. I’m never going to be a perfect romantic guy for you. I’m a fucking mess most of the time.”
“I don’t want aperfectguy. I want you.” Her brown eyes got serious, and I kissed her again. She put a hand on my chest and stopped me. “I’ve never done distance before, and it scares me, but we can figure it out together. I promise.”
“Distance?”
“I didn’t mean to spy,” she said, gulping. “The text about…escaping me and going to the NHL early. It popped up on your phone—”
“That’swhy you ran out.” I sighed and rested my forehead against hers. I breathed her in before continuing. “I thought you saw the gifts and I’d done something wrong. I’m new at all of this but—”
“The gifts are amazing, Cal. Everything you’ve done for me is. You might think you’re new, but you’ve shown me you’ve cared for weeks now.” She nodded, her eyes sparking with hope. “You’ve shown me your soul, and I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”
God, when she said things like that, my heart fluttered in my chest. I smiled at her, unable to stop it. She made mehappy.“I love this, you, us.”
Her lips curved up, but a nervous, hesitant look crossed her eyes. The joy dimmed slightly, and I tensed. “What is it?”
“Could you explain that text? Please? I trust you, I do, but,” she paused, swallowed loudly. “It messed with me a bit. I don’t want to be problematic.”
“Fuck, no, you’re not. I am. I’m the messy one.” I closed my eyes and exhaled. It was exhausting to spill your heart out after learning you still had a functioning one. “My agent learned about the bar fight online and wanted to come up with a game plan for the press. He picked up on my feelings for you before I did, and I said the attraction was problematic. Not you. I swear. He’s always been upfront about my options, and there’s an opportunity for me to go early and finish school online.”
Elle blinked and sucked in a little breath. “But you’re staying?”
“Yes.” I grinned again. “Mainly, because life here has been more fun and happier since I found you but also because I made a promise to my parents that I’d get a degree. I want to graduate in honor of them.”
“Oh, Cal.” She placed her hands on my face, gently rubbing her thumbs over my cheeks and jaw. Her eyes got all watery and warm. “I want our love story so badly.”
“You’ll have it.”
Then, I kissed her again.
She tasted like red wine, and I wanted to drink her in, her sweet floral smell, the little moans she released as I deepened the kiss. She grounded me and made me feel like I could fly. I ran a hand along her spine, pulling her closer to me and kissing her softly once, twice. I pulled back, staring down at her, and her brown eyes were crinkled on the sides in a smile. “I’m selfish to ask this, but the bar closes in an hour. Can you wait for me?”
“Of course, Cal. You’re worth waiting for.”
Somehow, those words felt deeper than surface value. The intonation of her voice, the way her gaze heated at me. I kissed her forehead and forced myself to take a step back. The last thingI wanted to do was stop touching her, but I was at work. “One hour, then you’re mine.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
Elle
Helovedme. Cal Holt said he loved me, with his mouth. My insides went bananas, dancing and hollering and freaking the hell out. He wasn’t leaving. He hadn’t slept with someone else. He wanted to be with me.
I should’ve been chill as hell and beyond happy. Never in my dreams had I thought he’d say those words to me? That he would feel the same? That he wanted to do romance? He was adamant that we’d never be that, so while the immediate joy was amazing, my nerves still held on tight. It felt too easy? Too good?
Our relationship had all the signs: he’d said he loved me, I’d said it back, and we’d go back to his place and get naked. My heart raced, and my palms sweated. He smiled at me across the bar, and my stomach did a swoopy thing. The story should be over, but nerves crept into my mind, messing everything up.
I texted Dani a quick recap, and her answering fire emojis weren’t the least bit helpful. For once, I wasn’t sure Dani could help me with this. It was my own head in the way.
For a girl who daydreamed about big gestures and wild declarations of love, I should’ve been settled, happier. Instead, my insides twisted with worry, and my leg bounced, and I couldn’t figure outwhy.
“Almost done.” Cal walked by, running a hand over my neck and gently squeezing. Goose bumps broke out over my body, tingling from his touch. I nodded, hiding behind a shy smile.
He looked so happy. How could I burst that bubble with worries I couldn’t explain? His smile was less forced, and in the time I’d known him, his frown lines had become less…frowny. He deserved all the happiness in the world after the things he’d been through. But was that my reservation?
That I was afraid he hadn’t really changed? I’d spent every minute the last few weeks reminding myself he wasn’t a relationship guy. That he moved on after three days and didn’t get involved. My mind was incredible, and I could convince myself of anything if I tried hard enough. (For real, I’d convinced myself I was pregnant from a toilet seat once and made Dani buy me a test)
Had I trained my mind not to trust Cal with my heart?
