Cal would walk me home, and we’d discuss the elephant in the room.
I’d insist I was fine.
Then I’d go home and write until I cried.
I washed my hands and put on the best face I could. He waited for me by the dart board and had his signature frown line in place. His jaw was tight too, almost looking like a younger version of him but angrier.
“Ready to walk home, partner?” I asked.
Partner?Oh my god.
He blinked in surprise. “Sure, yes.”
“Great. See y’all later!” I waved, overdoing it but whatever. This was brutal. I deserved cookie dough. We stepped outside, the air a bit cooler with the sun setting. It was still humid as hell, and I struggled to take a deep breath.
Cal grabbed my hand, stopping me. He spun me around.
He scanned my face, glancing between both eyes as he ran a thumb over the back of my hand. “Are you… are we alright? You and me?
He seemed nervous, his voice all tight, and his forehead filled with lines.
I let go of his hand and crossed my arms, nodding. “Of course, why wouldn’t we be?”
“Look,” he said, causing my alarm bells to go off.
Fight or flight! Save your heart! Protect yourself!
Icouldn’tsurvive him trying to explain last night. I wouldn’t. It’d shatter my heart into more pieces, and two large ones were enough to deal with.
“Cal, it’s okay.” I squeezed his forearm without the tattoo. My throat ached from withholding emotion, but I powered through. “If you were worried I was upset or had gotten too involved with you, I didn’t. I knew you were a three-night guy, nothing more.” I faked a smile, hating the pull I still had toward him. “There is no need to feel weird about hooking up with someone. You and I are friends who slept together twice. Nothing more. I didn’t catch any feelings. I’m a romance girl, remember? I want a hero to sweep me off my feet, not a three-night guy.”
His throat bobbed. “Friends,” he repeated. A muscle in his jaw twitched.
“Yeah. And, as yourfriend, I want to ask about your parents but will follow your lead on that.”
He worked his jaw like he chewed gum, his eyes going dark. His nostrils flared as he clenched his fists. The subject of his parents must’ve upset him. “What about them?”
“You mentioned how they died and took off. I was worried about you, hence the lasagna. Oh! Did you get to eat any of it?”
“We finished it, yeah. It was delicious. Thank you.”
We.I winced, wanting to throw up that him and his lady friend ate the food I made to comforthim.“Cool. Keep the pan forever.”
He ran a hand over his face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m great.”
He looked like he didn’t believe me, which let’s be honest, I didn’t believe me.
I blurted out, “I need to go. Got plans later. Big ones.”
His eyes looked so sad, but I refused to be swept up into them. We needed some space, time to figure out the new dynamic. That was all. He could continue his flings, and I could move on. I skipped to the left, completely abandoning all dignity since my heart and brain were apparently broken. “Chop-chop.”
His long strides caught up him to me, and he stopped me again, gently holding my elbow. “Elle, please, last night—”
“Don’t, okay? You’ve done nothing but be honest with me. Maybe we shouldn’t have slept together because it slightly changed things between us, but you can be with whoever you want. You should!” My voice sounded manic. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”
“You’re not…were we not kinda seeing each other?” he asked, his voice low, low, low.
