“Girl, you’re great at hiding your emotions, but you have this haunted look in your eyes. Are you okay?” She put her hand on my back and patted me. It was a kind gesture, but I would not be talking to her about what happened. Hell, I wouldn’t tell anyone.
I couldn’t.
“Yeah. Cramps.”
“Fuck. Sorry. Those are the worst. Need some meds?”
“Took some, thanks.” I gave her a tight-lipped smile and set the rag back in the bucket of sanitizing water. A new group of people walked into my section and I gladly left Greta behind the bar to take their order. It was three booths away from the back section with the guys, but it faced the other way so I didn’t have to seehim. I took the new group’s orders and moved back toward the kitchen but something slippery was on the clean tile, causing my foot to slide out from under me.
Air left my lungs and I defied gravity, flailing in the air as gracelessly as possible and hit the ground with my wrist bending the wrong way. “Shit! Ow!”
“Kenzie!” Tanner yelled my name, jumping from his chair to the spot on the ground where I sat with my legs in weird directions and my arm clutched to my middle. “Are you hurt?”
“Yes.” I winced and hated how every person now stared at me. It was mortifying. Tanner reached out to my forearm and pulled it back, tracing his fingers over the tendons. “Ah!”
“I never took you for clumsy. You had a bad fall there.” He was no more than three inches from my face, a smile playing on his lips and those deep brown eyes looking at me with so much warmth, I had to blink back tears. “Let’s get you some ice.”
I didn’t think about how it looked to my brother, Tanner helping me up and walking me to the kitchen. Clyde freaked out, as per usual, and helped sit me on a chair to get me ice. Tanner stayed there until Clyde left, and when it was just the two of us, the embarrassment hit. “Th-thank you for helping. I’m fine.”
“You fell hard.” He crouched so we were face to face, his breath hitting my skin and teasing me. I wanted him to kiss me, tell me everything was fine between us, but he didn’t. He frowned, a dark look crossing his features. “Rest in here for a bit. I need to head back out there.”
He stood, turning to leave the room, but gave me one more tender look. “Thank you, Kenzie. For everything. I needed a friend like you this summer…and, well, I’ll never forget it.”
If I hadn’t been certain before, those words solidified our end.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Tanner
Seven days without kissing her, talking about the future, laughing at something stupid or sleeping next to her. We didn’t talk more than a casual greeting. She joked with Zade and talked shit to her brother, but never me. I even texted her when we were away on a trip, asking how her shifts at work had gone. She always responded the same, that it had gone well and she hoped I’d played great.
No more inside jokes, flirting, teasing or acknowledging what we had. Just…existing alongside each other without our paths crossing.
Nothing in my life had felt like this before—empty. It was longing and a craving, but not just for sex. It was…more. Every night before I fell asleep, I thought about her, and when I woke up in the morning, I wished it was two weeks ago where I could sneak into her room and kiss her.
I’m a fucking sap from the movies.
I can’t cause drama for our final season. This is for the best. She deserves more.
I worked the machine at a furious pace, pumping iron faster and longer than I tended to—something Aaron and Zade noticed. Coach said something too, but I disregarded it. It wasn’t the drive to get better that fueled me. It was her, the need to work out hard enough so I could sleep easier when I got back to the house and not think about her being a wall away. She was silent in her room. She could be out, or not, and I had no right to know about it.
What happens when she moves out?
No. I won’t think about it.
Sweat dripped into my mouth and I tasted the salty combination. Two more sets of repetitions and I would call it a day. Before Kenzie, a workout like this would have lit the fire to head to a party, hook up with someone or stay out all night. But now, that sounded unfulfilling. Awful. An act, when the person I wanted to be with wasn’t an option.
She wanted to prolong it. I’m the reason it’s over. The way her eyes dulled, looking at me. Fuck, that hurts.
“Yo, Johnson! You played fucking good last weekend. Why are you going so hard?” Aaron asked, whistling as he approached the workout bench. “You look like a maniac.”
“Bigger, better, stronger,” I mumbled. He didn’t realize how close he’d come to finding out about me and his sister last week after she’d fallen. Zade had helped me out by stating he would’ve rushed to help her too, that we’d all grown to care for her. Aaron had bought it and I’d almost confessed, I felt so fucking bad. It was a shit-storm and I wanted it all to go away, but that meant forgetting about my time with Kenzie and that wasn’t something I was ready to do.I lied to her…about everything.
“You’re a beast. Whatever’s got you fucked up is working, my friend.”
“Thanks.” I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say, and I hated to admit it even to myself, but I was glad when Carter and Felix walked over to us. They would direct Aaron’s attention and I could sneak off. But, before I could, they said a name that caught all my attention.Kenzie.
“What the fuck did you say, Felix?” Aaron snapped. “My sister?”
