Greta waltzed in an hour later, spying me on the couch shoving mint ice cream into my mouth. She put her arm around me and took the spoon for herself. “Good shit.”
“Yeah. The best. I should only date ice cream.”
“You really can’t go wrong with it. It’s a perfect relationship, unless you’re lactose intolerant. Then the relationship might be a little toxic.”
I laughed, the sound painful. “I’m not sure if I messed everything up or whose fault it is. But I’m pretty sure we broke up.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry, babe.” She squeezed me harder and gave me silent comfort. “Did you go over there?”
“Yup. He lied to me and wouldn’t tell me why and he accused me of not trusting him. It’s not that I don’t trust him. I wanted to understand.”
“I get it, girl, I would’ve, too. Maybe he’ll come back and grovel?”
“I don’t think so. His eyes… They were pissed. Like, majorly pissed at me. But we both need to say an apology and I don’t think he sees it that way.”
“This is your first fight though. You haven’t learned how to fight yet. My parents always tell me that you need to figure out how to fight as a couple because it’s bound to happen. Don’t give up hope yet, kid.”
I laughed and snorted at the same time. “I hate feelings. They suck.”
“That they do. That’s why I chose to bottle mine up real tight. Probably not healthy in the long run, but hey, it works for me now.”
“Love you, G. You’re my best friend.”
“You too, Callie girl. You too.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Zade
I drove to Zaria’s clenching my fists on the wheel. My hands hurt by the time I arrived. I took deep breaths. My heart hurt. My head pounded. Too fucking many emotions. I couldn’t believe Callie didn’t trust me. I wanted to beat the shit out of something because she’d broken my goddamn heart. I needed her now more than ever. But, no. She didn’t fucking trust me. My hands shook. I hadn’t had time to explain anything when I’d gotten that text from Zaria saying I needed to get there immediately. She’d received a letter from our father.Our fucking father.I couldn’t breathe with the anxiety I felt.
I parked at a terrible angle and ran up to Zaria’s place. She buzzed me in instantly and opened the door without a word. “Where is it?”
“On the table.”
“It arrived earlier today, right?”
“Yes. I read it twice. You need to, too. Then we’ll talk.” She put her hand on my shoulder and pushed me into the chair. “Take your time.”
“I don’t know if I can handle it, Z.” I clenched the edge of the chair. “I’m skeptical.”
“Read it.”
I opened the letter addressed to Z. The pages were bent and discolored, as though it had been sealed for a long time. The front of the envelope had an odd signature on it. “Is this really from him?”
“Yes.” Her eyes filled with tears and I squeezed her hand.
“We’ll get through this, no matter what.”
“I know.”
Dear Zaria and Zade,
If you’re reading this, then unfortunately I’ve been lowered into the ground. This may come as a shock to both of you but I have been following your successes throughout most of your lives. There was a reason I left and a reason your mother raised you without a father. I had been abusive, irresponsible and unstable. I had a cocaine addiction and didn’t get clean until about ten years ago. By that time, I had already started another family. I have three children with my wife, well widow, now, Janine. David, Rachel and Mally. Too much time had passed to try and ask for forgiveness and that alone lies with me. I could have tried, but I chose not to out of guilt. This letter is a way for me to have peace, knowing I can help you out a little. Please, if anything, do not get upset at your mother. She protected what belonged to her and knows little of anything I’m telling you.
I want both of you to know two things. The first, your mom did a hell of a job raising you. You are both wonderful human beings and are such a gift to society. Zaria, you’re going to change the lives of thousands with your teaching and Zade, I cannot wait to watch you from up here to see what you do on that mound. I have no right to say this to you, but I am proud of you both.
Janine knew about the both of you and encouraged me to reach out to you multiple times, but my fear held me back. Fear of rejection. Fear of facing things I wasn’t meant to face. I am sorry I chose to be a coward and I never got to know you both besides the outside looking in. She will probably try and meet you both. I have no right asking this of either of you, but please, don’t push her away. She is a strong woman and saved me from myself.
