“Wait, what? Why are you here?”
“Why did some girl leave your house? Why did you lie to me?”
“What? I didn’t lie to you.” He ran his hands through his hair, pulling on the ends of it. “A girl? Veronica?Please.”
“Answer the question, Zade,” I demanded, my heart breaking.
“Which one?” His eyes, dark and angry, narrowed at me. “I don’t understand why you came over here. I told you I was busy.”
“No, you told me you were in class. Which, by the way, surprise—I have the same class as you and I watched you leave. With Veronica or whatever her name is behind you.”
“You’rein the sports psychology lecture?” He drew his eyebrows together and his eyes turned cold. Ice cold. “Hold the fuck up. You mean to tell me we’ve had a class together this whole time and you didn’t tell me?”
“Yeah. I planned—”
“Why, Callie? Because you didn’t trust me and wanted to spy on me?” His eyes were now almost black with anger.
“At first, yeah, but—”
“I can’t believe you. I can’t fucking believe you. Youstilldon’t trust me, do you? After everything we’ve done…” He squeezed the back of his neck, his entire body tensing and I got pissed.
“Let me finish.” I raised my voice this time. “I didn’t tell you in the beginning because I wanted distance. Then, I couldn’t figure out how to tell you without assuming you’d think the worst. I planned to tell you today and mess with you a little bit, but you ignored my texts and ran out.”
“I have a lot of shit going on right now, Callie, shit not connected with you. So, forgive me for not telling you every fucking thing that’s happening the second it happens. I assumed you trusted me enough to tell you when I was ready. But apparently I expected too much of you. You need to leave.”
“What?” Color drained from my face. “Why?”
“Because I have somewhere else I need to be and I don’t want to deal with you right now.” He snatched up his wallet and keys and glared at me. “I won’t do this with someone who doesn’t trust me after everything we’ve been through. I fucking love you, Callie. But I won’t put myself through the pain if you can’t trust me.”
“I do trust you.” Tears welled up in my eyes and anger, fear, pain and betrayal all coursed through me. Tears fell, the salty taste mixing with my words. “You ignored my texts and when I got here, I saw her leave the house and she—”
“Exactly. You assumed. You think I’d throw us away?” He shook his head a couple of times, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I didn’t assume anything. I got a bad feeling in my stomach something happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” My voice shook now.
“Yeah. Everything is great. Can’t you tell?” His tone was unlike anything I had heard before.
“Why are you speaking to me this way? You’ve never spoken to me this harshly before.”
“Yeah, well, when you invest a lot of time in someone you see a future with and you find out they were spying on you? Following you? Not a good feeling. I’m going to talk how the fuck I want to talk.”
“I get you’re mad, but there’s something else. Iknowyou, Zade. What’s going on?” Concern took over now I saw the signs. His hands shook, his jaw tensed and he seemed on the defensive. I knew I’d pissed him off, but his reaction worried me.
“Not really your business, is it?”
“I hoped to tell you today I loved you,” I admitted, looking at the ground. It wasn’t the ideal time or moment but I couldn’t back out now. “I planned to text you all during class and mess with you and tell you. I mean it, Zade.”
“How dare you throw love at me?” He shook his head and his nostrils flared. “I can’t believe you. I don’t believe you.” He hit the wall with his fist. “Fuck! I’ve shown you every day how much I love you and you…you use it against me?”
“Zade, please!”
“God, I need you to go. I can’t look at you right now.”
“You don’t mean it.”
“I do.” He met my eyes, his dark and hurt.
I watched him with my chest clenching. I waited a second longer and saw my answer. I gulped, darted out of the room and walked out of their house with as much dignity as I could. The tears hit hard, unlike any crying I had done before, and by the time I got to my apartment, I wanted to crawl into bed for days.
