“Are you the new assistant coach for the Central Wolves?”
“Yes, I am.” He sucked one of his cheeks in, and his shoulders stiffened. “I think we should talk about what it means for us.”
“We both know already,” I said, leaving the coffee on the counter and pacing near the kitchen table. Lilly’s textbooks sat out, and I focused on those instead of Michael’s face. I had one question to ask before I did what had to be done. “Did you tell my dad we were involved yesterday?”
This was the chance to prove that I’d come first because last night felt too familiar. My mom waiting up for my dad to get home and eventually giving up. Me, pacing after school because he was supposed to pick me up and forgot. My mom, Cami, and I always boxing up food at restaurants becausesomethinghappened on the team.
My breath lodged in my lungs, waiting for the inevitable no.
“Naomi, what are you doing?”
God, he sounded sad.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“Because we can’t be together, okay? Not now.” I put my hands on my hips and faced him. “You coach for him. I know what it takes, and you’ll be pulled into that world even more. Plus, you’re still a student, which I’m not even sure how that would work. Do you still go to classes? Are you getting paid? Either way—”
“Hey, take a breath. You’re talking too fast.” He moved to stand closer to me, but I stepped back when he reached out to touch me. That seemed to break the warmth in his eyes, fast. “Do you or do you not want to be with me?”
“It’s not a simple yes or no question,” I said, my watery voice not helping the situation at all. I could practically hear my mom’s voice from all the fights her and my dad had for years.Why didn’t you marry the fucking sport then?I can’t be with you if hockey is in your life. It’s me or hockey.
Healwayschose hockey. And look at them now…
“Yeah, it is. Because if it’s a yes, then we'll figure it out together. Sure, it’s not ideal that I’d have to tell your dad I’m sleeping with his fucking daughter, but I will.”
“You could’ve yesterday,” I said, fighting tears at this point. “You could’ve accepted the jobafteryou told him the truth. But no. Hockey will always come first.”
“Naomi, I’d like to give us a shot. It’ll take some time to adjust, but I want to be with you.” He ran a hand over his jaw, suddenly looking very tired.
I’d be a fool to believe him. To think he wouldn’t fall into the same patterns.Next time will be better. I swear.I heard my dad promise my mom things would be fine and not a month later, it was back to hockey everything.
Just a weekend game. Just a sick player. Just a quick coaching thing.
Michael saying we’d adjust… no. We wouldn’t.
“I think… I think we should be just friends for a bit. Like we originally planned.”
He blinked and flexed his jaw a few times. I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to say, but the silence dragged on, and I fought the urge to throw up. Then he said, “For a bit? What does that mean?”
“Just that with this change and the new pressures you’ll face, it’ll be easier to remain friends.”And when he chooses hockey every single time, it won’t hurt as badly.
“So, you’re too scared to give this a chance.” He backed up a step. The distant look I saw him wear when he talked to others replaced the tender gaze he used on me.
And as always, he cut right to the chase.
“Maybe, maybe not. But this is the right move. You have so much to balance now.”
“And you get to decide for me. Okay, cool.” He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Well thanks for thinking aboutmeand what you think I want.”
“This is hard for me too, Michael.”
“Is it? Because you’re the one making all the calls right now.” He exhaled and sliced me into pieces with the coolness of his blue eyes. “I should’ve known better,” he said, just above a whisper.
He spun around and walked out my door, and the absolute devastating realization hit me in the chest.
No more Michael.
No more touches and late night conversations. No more holding hands and laughing with him. Those blue eyes wouldn’t look at me and crinkle on the sides, andfuck.My stomach coiled tight, like I might throw up. I covered my mouth with my hand as a sob broke through. Ihurthim in trying to protect myself. The guy who had already suffered so much loss.
