“I hadnoidea about Gage. I ran into him at a frat party, and he pursued me. It wasn’t until Michael mentioned something at the diner that I realized you two had a past. I swear it.” She picked up a blade of grass and ran it through her fingers. “Who else?”
“Isiah from high school. We kissed three times before he dumped me for you. Then, Henry the summer before college.”
She winced, surely remembering how she flaunted those guys around. Henry was the worst because he was so out of my league, I knew better than it think it was anything. It was my idea to keep our hooking up private.Kinda like Michael…
“Isiah…he said he wasn’t seeing anyone, and Henry… fuck. I had no idea, Naomi. None. I wouldneverintentionally hurt you.”
“You did though, Cami.” I took a shaky breath and waited for my sister to meet my eyes. “It’s not about the guys, well, not all of it. It’s everything that’s happened in the past six years.”
She sucked in a breath and let her guard down. My real sister was here, not the painted version she put on for everyone else. “The divorce.”
“Part of it, yeah.” I too, picked up some of the grass and ripped it in half. It gave me something to do with the nervous energy filling me head to toe. At this rate, there’d be no grass remaining in the center of the quad. “You got Dad. Mom got a new family. I was left behind.”
“That’s not my fault,” she said, her voice raising. “I can’t help that—”
“I’m not saying it is. I’m telling you where I’m at and how I see things.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “I lost everyone, so I stopped assuming best intentions. You and Dad have the jokes, and you got the parent to lean on while I lost you all. So yeah, we grew apart which is fine, but what was I supposed to think, Cami? You stopped wanting to hang out with me. You stopped viewing me as an equal. We never did anything just the two of us after we turned fifteen. Notonce.You stopped our movie nights and milkshake runs. You hung out with your shitty mean girl clique and partied.”
“Did you ever think that I didn’t want to spend time with you because I was jealous?” she said, saying the thing that shocked me to my core.
My beautiful, popular, had-everything-in life sister was jealous of me? No way. I laughed. “How is that possible?”
“You think I had it all?” She smiled, but it was filled with pain that I felt in my soul. “Dad’s terrified I’m going to elope or get pregnant. Mom thinks I’mtoomuch and a bad influence on her new kids, so she never talks to me anymore. I have no idea what I want to do in my life, and yeah, I’m pretty and can dance. Those are useless skills, Nana. You have brains and real friends who’ve got your back. Even in high school, you had genuine friends. I never did. Plus, Dad doesn’t have to worry about you. Sure, we have jokes, but we don’t openly fight in front of you. Where he tells me he’s embarrassed about my actions and that I should be more likeyou.”
Cami sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her arm. My mouth hung open, my mind shattered at her confession. I was utterly speechless. My perfect sister was maybe a little broken.
She cleared her throat and looked at the sky. “I was at a strip club because I needed to feel something other than pity. I went out with this shady as fuck dude, and we ended up there. He went down on a dancer in a private room and wanted me to join. Apparently, they’re together and bring in third parties for fun.”
“Jesus,” I said, exhaling as I tried to analyze her pain, her words, her perceptions. I’d be a fool if I didn’t admit I was a little relieved to hear our dad didn’t hate me, that my sister’s life wasn’t all rainbows. We each had our struggles, but the saddest thing about her confession was that she’d truly felt she was utterly alone. I reached over and said to hell with it. I pulled her into a hug, and she fell on top of me.
“What are you doing, you weirdo?” she said, laughing as I squeezed my arms around her. “Nana, stop it. People are watching.”
“I don’t care. I feel like I have my sister back.” God, those words filled me with a sense of home.Finally.
She stilled, and slowly, she wrapped her arms around me and returned the hug.
“You’re never by yourself, Cami, and I’ve been jealous of you too. For years. It sounds like we’re both a little messed up.”
“Yeah, we are.” She sniffed again, and we adjusted so we both lay in the grass, our faces up toward the sky. She reached out for my hand, and I grabbed it. “I truthfully never tried to date guys you were into. I need you to know that.”
“Okay.” I squeezed her hand. “I believe you.”
It was weird to forgive her for years of strife that quickly. But seeing her break down changed things. Cami didn’t cry. Never in all our lives. My sister was hurting.
“I think we need weekly dates.”
“Yeah?” she asked, a little lilt of hope to her tone. “Me and you?”
“Yup. To work on us. To go back to being friends, not just sisters.”
“I’d like that.”
“Me too.”
We sat there, chatting idly about her dance team and about my internship with our dad. Conversation flowed easily when I didn’t assume the worst, and the uncomfortable wedge driven between us chipped away a bit. Not all of it. That would take time. But a good chunk had shifted. We parted ways after a good hour with plans to meet at the student union on Thursday for lunch. She had to get ready to dance at the game Friday, and it was the only time we were both free until next week.
After I put my headphones in and headed back toward my place, I realized the first person I wanted to tell was Michael. He’d be so happy to learn we were working on things. I sent him a text.
Naomi: Are you home?
