My breathing faltered as I waited for Michael to come out of Coach’s office, praying he’d give me a nod or a semblance of a greeting. I stood stiff as a steel rod and clutched the strap of my bag tighter. Paxton left, same serious face as his twin, and that meant the one alternate captain remained.What is Coach saying?
Michael came out after three minutes of torture, and when his gaze landed on me, he nodded in greeting. He hit my shoulder and said, “Wish we all had your focus, J.D.”
Then he let go and kept walking.
My shaky sigh put everything back in place. The chemistry was fine. Coach probably wanted to talk to the leaders on the team to get everyone in line and it had nothing to do with me and Ryann.
Thank god.
With a new bounce in my step, I made my way out of the locker room, searching for some woman. Ryann wouldn’t be who they meant, not with her brother here.
The weirdest thought intruded, the more inappropriate of thoughts.
What would it feel like to know she was waiting for me after a game? Seeing her wear my jersey and smile that toothy grin at me? I blinked, shoving the image away because that wasn’t a possibility for us, ever. That seemed toogirlfriendywhen her last name tied her to Michael, so even if I bent the no-girlfriend rule… she was my teammate’s sister.
“Jonah?” a soft, nervous voice pulled me to the right, and I froze. Absolutely paralyzed at the sight of mymom.Here. On campus.
My heart thudded so loud it was all I could hear. The distant chatter of my teammates faded away as my mom’s face came into view. She looked older, tired, unhappy. Wrinkles formed on either side of her eyes, and her hair had a little more gray than the last time I saw her. Besides that, she was the same.
I couldn’t fucking speak.
“I was hoping to talk to you for a moment,” she said, swallowing loudly and taking a step toward me. “Please.”
She wore a basic Burlington U shirt and jeans and had her hands clasped in front of her. This was the woman who left us, Dad and me, and used every nasty trick in the book to rob my dad of his money.
“No,” I yelled, not caring that my voice echoed.
She flinched and took a shaky breath. “Please, Jonah. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for—”
“I said no. I have nothing to say to you.” My left eye twitched, and a headache exploded around my temples from seeing her here.
“I want to talk to my son. I fucked up.” She sniffed, and tears fell down her face. The emotion should’ve bothered me, but it pissed me off even more. I wanted to punch a wall or run five miles without stopping. Do something to stop this onslaught of unwanted feelings making me go crazy.
“What are you referring to, exactly?” I stepped toward her with balled fists and forced myself to relax my hands. I wouldn’t hurt her, but my body seemed to be out of control with rage. “The fact you abandoned your only son and replaced him with hisbest friend? The fact you haven’t talked to me in two years? The fact you broke Dad’s heart and took him for every fucking penny he had? Which one are you talking about?”
Light footsteps came behind me, but I didn’t care to turn around. My mom’s eyes widened, and she placed a hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking as she cried. I slammed my eyes shut. How dare she act like the victim? She did this.
“J.D.”
A hand came down on my shoulder, and I sliced my gaze to Michael. His tight expression told me he knew enough. “Do you need me to call security?”
He’s on my side.I almost relaxed but shook my head. “No. Not yet.”
“Want me to stick around?” he asked, his tone serious and low. His attention moved to my mom, and his jaw tightened. “I’ll hang back there. Let me know if you need help.”
My throat tightened, and I nodded. He now knew my mom thought I was replaceable. Awesome.
“Did you come here to embarrass me? Let everyone know how I’m not worth keeping as a son?” I asked once Michael was out of earshot. “You don’t get to pick when we talk.”
“W-when can w-we?” she asked, full-on sobbing now.
“I don’t know that we can.” That was the truth of it. “I’m not sure I can ever forgive you. Maybe what you did to me, telling me hockey ruined your life. It’s a lot, and not everyone likes it. But what you did to Dad?” I paused, shaking my head as my lip curled up in disgust. “That is unforgivable.”
“Your father and I had our own issues that you might never understand. But Jonah, my only regret ishurtingyou. My actions caused me to lose my son, and that’s something I will try to fix for the rest of my life. I love you.”
“Don’t come here again. Don’t call me. If I ever feel like you’re worth my time, I have your number.”
I slung my bag back over my shoulder and marched out of the rink into the warm air. It didn’t heat up my veins though. Seeing her in the flesh after two years unsettled me to the point I wasn’t sure if I needed to throw up or get rip-roaring drunk.
