Hope was a dangerous thing. The sliver ofwhat-ifworked its way into my heart, and the secret desire I thought about at night, missing him, came back fast. What if I did forgive him? Could I? Did I want to?
He let out a nervous laugh and ran one hand over the back of his neck. “Wow, I feel like an idiot saying it out loud like that. You look like you saw a ghost right now. I, uh, should go find your costume because I know I had it. You didn’t take it, I know that. I never meant—well, I don’t think…yeah. I’ll see you later,” he said, ducking his head down and speed walking right by me, leaving a rush of wind to hit my face.
Christopher Callahan was nervous, and I was so intrigued—the butterflies in my stomach, sweat dripping down my back, breathing heavier type of intrigued. I had an extra spring to my step as I made my way to my classroom, stopping at the door. Every desk had a wrapped item on it, and a message was written on the board.
Remember what we talked about. Don’t tell Ms. Carter the surprise! -Mr. C
Oh my God, what was the surprise?
I cracked my knuckles and paced the room, absolutely torn about ripping open a bag and seeing what the hell he was up to, and wanting to be surprised. Did the surprise matter? Would the level of surprise make a difference if I did forgive him? He had a plan toget me back,and while it thrilled me, the more distance was put between what happened and now, the more I understood his reaction.
I didn’t agree with it, or like it, and I’d lost some trust, but I understood it.
I grabbed my phone out of my bag and texted Grace. She would know what to do.
Gilly: C said he wants me back. Do I forgive him?
Grace: Gillyweed. This isn’t something I will answer for you. This is your choice.
Gilly: But I need your guidance.
Grace: No. This is on you.
Gilly: I got drunk with you when you had a full meltdown about Brock.
Grace: We got drunk LAST WEEKEND.
Gilly: I miss him.
Grace: He was an idiot. He’ll probably do something idiotic again. But G, he liked you without even knowing about your money. He pushed you. Challenged you. Made wrong assumptions but you LIED TO HIM too. If he knew the truth about your background, he never would’ve assumed you stole.
Gilly: Okay, you’re supposed to be on my team.
Grace: I am, forever. That means standing up to your stubborn ass. Now, I gotta go. You’ll know what to do.
She was right. Neither of us were innocent—he was just more guilty than I was. Sighing, I stretched my arms over my head and made the choice to not look. If he had a plan, I should respect it. And honestly, I was excited to see how it played out.
The last hourof the school day was dedicated to our parade, but that meant no one could focus after lunch. Kids were so distracted and giggling and whispering all about thesecretwith Mr. C, and at that point, my face hurt from smiling. They didn’t tell me the big reveal, but they told me he got us all matching costumes, he had a speech for me because he said something to upset me, the float was dedicated to me, I would get messy, and they all loved it.
It was all very promising, and before it was time to get ready for the parade, Christopher walked into my classroom with a card and a bright, hot-pink-and-purple Hawaiian shirt and a sheepish, goofy smile that made me curl my toes into my shiny yellow flats.
“Ms. Carter, we are ready for you to get into your costume.” He handed the shirt over, and his eyes sparkled, like he had a million jokes to tell me but was waiting for the right moment.
I held up the very obnoxious, yet verymeshirt. “Wow.”
“You’ll look great in it,” he said, smirking as he winked at the students. They all got up at the same time, opened their bags, and put on shirts just like mine, large sunglasses, and mini beach towels. “Okay, you remember what we’re going to do?”
“Yes, Mr. C!” they said, smiling with my buddy teacher, and nerves froze me to the ground. They were all in on this together. All of them.
“Find our float.”
“Which one is it?
“You’ll know.” He grinned again, but held my gaze for an extra beat. “See you out there.”
He hit the doorframe twice before leaving, and my kids lost their minds with excitement. Giggles and shouts, someone knocking over their stuff they were so amped up. I barely had time to register Christopher’s excitement and totally forgot about it when APD came onto the speaker.
“It’s parade time! Kinder through second, please find your way to your floats and get ready!”
