Ryann: Want me to take a shift tonight? I need it.
Hannah: You sure? Isn’t there a game?
The woman knew my obsession with the team and my brother. She definitely knew I had major feels for my roommate after he left the previous day. I confessed everything to her.
Ryann: Yes. my brother found out, and JD won’t talk to me. I need to do something.
Hannah: Then come on in, girl. I could use you around five.
Perfect.
I’d missed one game since I came to the university, and it was because of a study group that was required for grades. It sucked, but I managed to sneak highlights from my phone, and it felt weird not being there. But this was intentional.
It gave Jonah and Michael time to deal with themselves. My brother didn’t have to worry about seeing me, and Jonah could continue avoiding me without concern while I could live in my personal hell of knowing Jonah and I were done.
I fell in love with the guy who couldn’t risk us having a real relationship.Great job, Ryann.I could almost hear my parents laughing at me from above. Knowing I could escape my mind for a few hours that night, I finished the homework I had to do, showered, and got ready.
Working from five until close was exactly what I needed. I’d make money, avoid hockey and all the players, and try to figure out my plan. If Jonah and I were done… I ignored the pang in my chest and the tears threatening to fall…then I would have to figure out how to live with him.
Because seeing him every day with a broken heart would be impossible.
24
Jonah
My knee bounced as I sat on the bench in the locker room. I neededto play more than my lungs required oxygen. The ice was my safe space, my zone, and time seemed to stop altogether as I watched the clock. Hours went by three times slower, and I gripped the back of my neck to focus on the film in front of me.
Not Ryann.
Not the look on her face when Michael saw us.
Not the fact that her fucking brother hadn’t looked at me once since he walked into the locker room.
Not the fact that my dad and mom had aconversationthe night before, and I had no one to talk to about it.
It was hockey.
My one constant.
“Daniels,” Patrick said, his voice harsher than normal. “Stop bouncing the whole goddamn bench.”
“Sorry,” I said, stilling my leg and lacing my skate. The air was tense, and I knew without a doubt it was because of Ryann and me.
Patrick didn’t say anything back, and I was glad. This was going to be the real test—would they treat me differently on the ice and was it worth it?
Yes.I knew in my gut Ryann was, but she made it fucking clear we werenothing.
“Listen up,” Coach Bart said, coming out of his office with a clipboard. “Colorado College is good. Better than good. We have to bring our A game, so here’s what we’re going to do…”
An hour later, we were on the ice, and it was brutal. Their forwards were some of the best—two of them already drafted and waiting to finish their senior year, but the twins were even more talented.
It was all about finesse. Who passed better. Who followed through on their plays. Who had more endurance.
They did after the first period, and even though we were down by three, I didn’t expect Michael to shove me against the wall the second we were in the locker room. He’d passed the puck to me a few times, and there was no difference in play, yet the fire in his eyes and the aggressive way he gripped my collar startled me.
“What the fuck did you do?” he roared, earning the attention of the twins. They stayed back and flanked him on either side.
This was a vision from my nightmares. Straight up. The captains turning on me. Pushing me out. My stomach hardened, and I could’ve thrown up.
