“Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Uh, I’m kinda busy.” She fidgeted with a cleaning spray handle, and a slight redness crept up her neck.
“Ry,” I tried again, my voice a little stronger than intended. “Please?”
She bit her lip and swallowed before meeting my gaze. Her blue eyes were pools of emotions, ones I couldn’t get a read on, and she let out a long breath. “Now isreallynot a good time.”
I looked around the empty room, making my eyes go wide at the lack of people. Hannah stood of to the side, watching without a lick of shame, and my face heated at the attention. This was about Ryann so I focused on her. “Why? Why is this not okay?”
“I’m not ready.”
I snapped my attention back to her, and my breath caught in my throat. “What does that mean?”
“I’m not ready to talk, okay? Today is a big day for you, for Michael, for the team.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Please, Jonah. I’m trying to be mindful of you. I think… later. We should talk later.”
“After the game?”
“Yes. Or Sunday. Play your first two games. Then we can talk.” She pulled at the edge of her apron so hard her knuckles were white.
“Is this what you need? To wait?” I asked,hatingthe worried look on her face. Did my obsession with hockey make her feel this nervous? Did she think all these weeks together meant nothing to me? Did she not realize she’d become my best fucking friend?
She nodded and refused to look at me. She chewed the side of her lip as a pair of students walked in. She jutted her chin to me, signaling to move away. We’d talk Sunday, in forty-eight fucking hours. It didn’t sit right. I waited until the two ordered fancy drinks and went up to the counter again.
“We can talk Sunday, but we arenotdone. Fuck the reasons why it’s a bad idea.” I didn’t wait for a reply before storming out of the café, torn between feeling proud, terrified, and worried. I’d put her first. I told her. That was something I never thought I’d do. Yet she held the power over me, and…the look on her face said she wasn’t going to keep me around. If she felt like it was a choice between her brother or me…she wouldn’t pick me.
Fuck if that didn’t suck.
* * *
Game time.
The music pounded over the speakers and the sound of metal on ice sliced through the air. Our warm-up was filled with a nervous energy and adrenaline—a lethal combination. There wasn’t a competition of who wanted it more between our team and our opponents because we all did. It was a part of being an athlete.
But we won when it came to grit and determination. We dominated on the ice, and it was time we showed it. The first period flew by with a combination of Patrick scoring one goal with my assist and Josh Gruber blocking every attempt our opponent made. The cold air hit my face as I skated across the ice, and my soul came alive. I belonged here.
It was where I could focus and use every muscle I trained for. The mouthguard remained tight in my mouth as I bit down, taking in the scene. The guys sitting on the bench, our coach yelling with the clipboard.
This was home.
My blood pumped through my veins during the second period where they tied the game. One-one, and Colorado was playing more aggressively. They had possession more, and my muscles burned as I skated up and down the ice. Michael passed it to Paxton, then to Patrick, me, Patrick, thengoal.
Fuck yes. Another assist. I pumped my fist into the air as we did a quick huddle to celebrate. Michael looked maniacal from the joy, and it was contagious.
“Let’s fucking go!” he shouted. He skated up to me and put his arm around my head, knocking his helmet against mine before moving onto the next guy. I laughed, shaking my head at his ability to make every person on the ice feel like part of the family.
He cheered every one of our teammates with the same energy, and for one hot second, my gaze shifted to the stands where Ryann sat wearing a Moo U sweatshirt and green hat. Her fists lifted in the air.
Her gaze met mine, and without thinking, I winked at her.
It can be like this.Her at the games, her brother as my teammate. They didn’t have to live in separate worlds when it felt so damn right to have both.
I didn’t get to think about it long as the second period ended and we approached the third. Our coach gave us the plan, wanting us to put more pressure on their defense, and we came out ready to go.
Twenty more shots on their goal, we had the puck in possession more than their offense, but it wasn’t enough. With five minutes left of the final period, we needed to score. My arms burned and my thighs clenched as I slammed into the wall to stop the puck. I passed it to Paxton, who weaved around our opponent before pulling his stick back, swinging, and smacking the puck in a quick line just to the right of the goalie. He scored. The buzzer blasted in the stadium, and god, the high from it was enough to fuel me for days. That one goal sent us over the edge and was enough. We won. We won our home opener, and fuck if it didn’t feel good.
We celebrated with high-fives and bro hugs and a quick speech to be back the next day ready to go. I showered and got dressed fast, anxious to celebrate with Ryann. I didn’t care if she wanted to wait. I felt high on a rush and wanted to lose myself with her. She’d be so happy we won. I knew it. I’d convince her to talk now, preferably naked or with a celebratory beer my dad insisted we had.
I exited the locker room intent on talking to her when my fucking mom appeared. She stood off to the side, and the sight of her knocked the wind out of me. She wore a Moo U shirt, and my dad was walking up the other side.If he sees her…I panicked and completely froze. He might think I invited her, or forgave her, or betrayed him, and I shook my head, seconds away from pointing my finger at her to get out of there when Ryann walked up with my dad.
