This felt different than any sex I’d ever had, and when Jonah kissed my spine before getting up, I felt that kiss right in my chest.
“Incredible,” he said, just above a whisper before disposing of the condom. I tilted my head on my pillow to watch him, my heart in my throat at how beautiful he was. He was gentle and kind andmine.
The last thought threw me off. I wasn’t the type to get possessive or jealous, but knowing this could be our last time… it amplified every emotion.
“You seem happy,” I said, hating the way my voice was clogged. I cleared my throat hoping that would help. This was it. I felt it in the way he stared at me, like his eyes were trying to tell me goodbye. It was a farewell to the bliss, to the temporary situation we agreed upon.
“I am.” He flashed a quick smile and sat on the edge of my bed, still naked. He ran his hand up and down my back, kneading the spot above my ass before smacking it. “I need to shower. Want to join me?”
God yes.
“Oh, this could be fun.” I sat up and almost giggled when he gripped my sides and placed me in his lap. If our time was limited, I was going to spend every second enjoying his naked body.
He licked his bottom lip before kissing me again. This wasn’t a heated, foreplay type of kiss. It was slow and addicting. He held me tight against him again and let out a contented sigh before murmuring against my mouth, “Fuck, your lips are my favorite.”
I only hummed in response. If I said anything else, it would mess everything up, and I couldn’t take that risk. “Come on, hotshot, let’s get all wet and soapy.”
22
Jonah
By the time Friday rolled around, I woke up and Ryann was gone. Her flowery scent lingered in the air when I walked into the kitchen for breakfast, and her shoes, keys, and red sweatshirt weren’t near the entrance. Disappointment hit me hard. I wanted to talk to her about us, about the deal. We sidestepped any sort of chatting the night before, and instead of crashing in my bed, Ryann snuck off to her room with the excuse she had to leave early.
What did that even mean? I knew her schedule—she knew mine. She didn’t have work or class, so she had to be avoiding me. I ran my hand through my hair, trying to ignore the tightness in my chest and the uneasy feeling that I was missing something.But what is it?
Facts—we agreed to do this knowing I didn’t have time for a relationship or any complications with the season. She didn’t want her brother finding out because she didn’t want to impact their relationship. All true, but things had shifted, andnotbeing with Ryann would be too fucking hard.
We had to tell her brother so we could be together in a real relationship… if that made her happy. Yes. I nodded to myself, hopeful that we could figure it out. I threw some spinach, yogurt, blueberries, and protein powder into the blender and made a shake before sending her a text. It’d be better to talk before the game. That way I wouldn’t be worrying about this after the puck dropped.
Jonah: You coming back at all today?
Ryann: Unsure. Caught up at the café.
Jonah: I thought Hannah opened?
Ryann: She needed me last minute.
Jonah: Okay. Well, will I see you before the game tonight?
Ryann: I don’t know, but Jonah? Good luck. You’re going to kick ass.
My heart hammered against my ribs. Maybe I wasn’t good at this shit. Her text felt… like a goodbye. Good luck? That’s what she said?
Jonah: What time do you get a break?
Ryann: I don’t get one.
She was lying to me, she had to be. Determined to talk and figure this out, I finished my shake, showered, and got dressed. We didn’t have to report to the rink until later that afternoon, and I had one class in the late morning. It would be perfect to study at the café and try to catch a moment of Ryann’s time. I’d tell her everything and see where she was at.
The walk to the café was a little cooler as fall neared, and I slipped on my headphones. It was quiet on campus, barely seven thirty, and most students didn’t even wake up until five minutes before their eight a.m. class. I liked the quad when it wasn’t filled with tons of peers. There was something peaceful about it, and the quiet soothed my growing nerves about talking to Ryann. I arrived at the double doors, and the bell chimed as I entered. Hannah, the pretty owner, stood behind the counter with Ryann, and the two of them were chatting in high-pitched voices.
“I’m telling you,” Hannah said, waving her hands in the air with a huge smile. “It feels so good to date a normal person.”
“I’m so thrilled for you. You deserve all the good luck, vibes, thoughts, and sex.” Ryann grinned, moved her gaze to mine, and as my lips twitched to match her grin, my girl’s face fell.
Her smile disappeared from her face when she saw me, and my heart plummeted to the freshly mopped floor.Why is she not happy?
“Jonah, hi,” she said, looking at the ground and blinking way too fast. Alarm bells went off, and I took a few steps closer to the counter. Hannah stared at me hard, and I nodded to her.
