“Yes.”
She tapped her nails on the table for a few beats, her eyes darkening as she nodded to herself. “Playing well with the team is everything.”
“Exactly,” I sighed, relieved she got it. “That and never asking my dad for money. I can’t do that to him.”
She wet her bottom lip and studied me. “Money is a sore spot for me too, if that makes you feel any better. I have a very limited amount of funds since I’m ditching the dorms.”
“Why are you?” I asked, not even thinking about how the question crossed the line from casual roommates to something more. I didn’t expect her to answer. If it was me, I would’ve slammed my lips shut and retreated into another room, however, Ryann was so very muchnotlike me.
“Drugs, alcohol.” She shrugged and didn’t say anymore. I wasn’t sure if she meant she imbibed a lot or was tempted or what, but I didn’t get a chance to ask before she spoke again.
“So, if Michael were to reactpoorlyfrom us living together and take it out on you in the rink, it could hurt your chances of keeping your scholarship.” She moved her hand to rub down the length of her shin, the movement bringing my attention to her leg. Her skin looked soft and smooth, and for the life of me, I wondered how it would feel to touch it.
Whoa.
“Yes,” I said, relieved at having her know the truth, even though it gave her power over me. She knew my Achilles heel, yet despite the worry that came with sharing my past, my secret felt safe with her. Maybe it was the fact I knew her brother or the fact she wasn’t looking at me with pity. No, definitely not pity. Something…else. The longer she stared at me with her big blue eyes, nerves exploded in my stomach like a cannonball of butterflies. No one typically wore the expression she did right now around me, like my ambition had merit. Like she got me.
“You’re not grumpy. You’refocused.” She hummed, nodding to herself as a hint of a smile played on her distracting lips. “Makes so much sense now. I misread you.”
“I’m not sure what to say to that.”
“It’s okay.” She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. The soft material hung off her, exposing her collarbone.
Does she like being touched there?
I cleared my throat and shifted in my chair, needing the extra second to figure out what to say. Her gaze never wavered, even though I expected some emotion from her, like pity or disgust. After all, what mom left her son without a word? Still, she looked on with curiosity.
“So, can we talk about telling your brother,please?”
She nodded, and a troubled look entered her eyes. “I feel like I should share something since you did, you know?”
“Sure,” I replied, leaning toward her. It surprised me how much I wanted to figure out her secrets, her past, her real reason for leaving the dorms. “If it involves why you still haven’t told your brother, then yes.”
Her face tightened, and I regretted saying that last bit. But she had to know the continued lie was causing all sorts of anxiety for me.
“Michael is my best friend, but there is this blurred line of him trying to act like my parent andnotbe an idiot older brother.” She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and blinked a few times. “He’s going to be pissed I didn’t come to him for a solution, plus the fact I didn’t tell him about the drugs and alcohol. He’d have wanted to help me, to give me money or something, and he needs to worry about his own damn self.”
“So it’s pride?”
“And concern,” she said, her voice getting stronger. “He’s going to give up his dreams and goals to try and take care of me. Irefuseto let that happen, so I have to prove to him, and myself really, that I can do this alone. He can’t make decisions for me.”
My tension loosened at her words, and something warm and sticky formed in my chest. She wanted to prove her independence tohelpher brother. “I see.”
“I’m not trying to cause you issues on the team, J.D.,” she said, giving me a sad smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I want to settle into this new job, save a little bit, andthentell him.”
“I will…try to understand that.” I gulped. “When do you imagine you’ll feel ready?”
Her grin grew, and the sight made me feel a little better. “Was it hard asking that question all polite?”
“Yes, a bit.”
She snorted. “This week. I’m finalizing my work schedule for the month, and I’ll feel more secure knowing that’s settled.”
This week.Good.
“How will youtellhim? I can’t imagine it’ll be an easy breezy conversation.”
Her eyes got as wide as the leftover dinner plate on the counter. “Easy breezy? Wow, J.D. look at you being all casual.”
