She turned to face him fully.
“So, look…” Michelle paused to press her hands together, like she was about to pray, dropping her head to gather her breath before continuing.
“If that woman decides she can’t have the baby…”
Xander sucked his teeth and looked away, shaking his head. He didn’t even want to consider what it would be like if Rylee actually decided to go through with it.
Michelle was quick to take his head in her hands, pressing her palms to either side of his face.
“Xander. Xander,” Michelle said until he looked at her again. “If she decidesnotto have it, real love means you don’t hold it against her.”
He shook his head. “That’s easier said than done, though, Ma. Come on…” Xander inhaled a stuttered breath.
Michelle moved her hands off his face and placed a hand to his chest. “Xander?—”
“I already see that kid in my head,” he interjected, tapping his temple with his fingertip. “I see Rylee with a belly.”
He smiled next. “Nova rubbing it, LJ talking to it.” He closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy that vision for what it was worth. “I can’t unsee that. I just… I can’t.”
Michelle scooted closer on the couch and pressed a hand to the side of his face. “Then, baby, pray on it… and love heranyway. You hear me? Love her anyway.”
Xander swallowed back the lump forming in his throat and looked away, needing to blink back the tears pooling in his eyes.
He sniffed, then dropped his head back against the neck of his mother’s couch, closing his eyes.
Michelle was quick to wrap her arms around him and lean his head against her chest.
And even though Xander was grown, in his mother’s hug he felt like a kid again.
He felt safe, like everything would really be okay.
Xander melted into her embrace the way only a grown man who’s run out of strength could melt into his mother’s arms.
“You can’t fix this for her, Xander. You just gotta be there when she’s ready to talk, you know?”
Xander nodded. It was the right thing to do. He also nodded because he couldn’t see himself doing anything else but being there for Rylee whenever she needed him.
“Because that’s what real men do. And baby, you are a real man.” Michelle nodded. “And I know she knows that.”
Xander spent almost half an hour at his mother’s daycare, the two of them talking a little more until the weight on his chest felt a little lighter.
Although he still felt down about everything that had happened at Rylee’s home…
He at least had a plan.
He would wait.
And pray.
Wait for her to let him know when she was ready to talk, and pray that she wouldn’t make her decision without speaking with him again.
Xander was making his way down the stairs and heading to the front door when he passed the room where a group of toddlers were napping.
He spotted one of the toddlers, a little girl, poking her head up and immediately gripping the crib railing when she saw him.
He pressed a finger to his lips and gestured for her to lay back down, which she didn’t obey.
He snickered to himself as he entered the room, waving at one of the caregivers who was just about to stand up to attend to the little girl.
