Chapter twenty-one
Olivia
Iamstandingoutsideof my building, staring up at the glass windows, knowing that when I go in, I will have to get back to everything I just lived through—saving victims, stopping Lopez García and others like him. The thought of just staying at home all day makes my skin crawl. I know I don't have to be back to work, but my mind is everywhere, and I feel like I am going insane. What better way to get my mind to chill out than to put it to work?
With a deep breath, I walk through the doors, dreading every step I take further into the building.
I step into the big open office, and look around, my breath ragged, and I attempt to calm myself down. “Hey! O’Connor! Welcome back.” Miller says, another officer who works in the gang unit, but I have never even spoken to him. I give him a quick wave in acknowledgment and turn back to looking at everyone getting ready for their day.
I walk up the stairs to the Captain’s office to see where he wants me. It has been two weeks since I have been home, and a little over a month since I was on the dock the night my life went to shit. I was only with Lopez García for two weeks, but it felt like a lifetime. My stomach starts to turn as my mind runs through everything that happened.
Come on, Olivia. Breath.
In through your nose.
Out through your mouth.
Honestly, I’m not even sure if I want to be here anymore. I turn to walk back out the door, but my pride stops me. Dad and Oliver want me to quit, but I don't think I can. This is all I know, and they didn't trust me enough until now to include me in the family business, so why would I start now?
I turn around and continue walking forward. One step at a time. That's all it takes. I step up the three steps to the office and knock on the door.
Captain looks up from a file on his desk, and his facial expression changes to pure shock from seeing me.
“O’Connor, I wasn’t expecting you back in the office so quickly after… everything that happened.”
I look at him with confusion written all over my face. “With all due respect, sir, it's been two weeks. If I stay at home any longer, I might go stir crazy.”
He holds up his hand to me in surrender. "Hey, I'm not complaining by any means. Glad to have you back. Please let me know if things become too much for you. My door is always open." I nod and give my thanks while I exit the office.
“Hey, O’Connor.” His voice halts me in my spot. I turn to look at him, not making a sound. “I would like you to see the staff psychiatrist and get cleared by them before I can put you on full duty again.” I nod my understanding and turn to walk away.
I don't want to be put on some bullshit light-duty desk work. If they do mark me as unfit, I’ll just stay home. And while I’m at it, I’ll just use Alex’s office to track down Lopez García myself.
As I walk back to my desk, I stop by the break room to get some coffee. Lord knows I need it today; I've only been in this office for fifteen minutes, and I'm already exhausted.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee invades my senses as soon as I enter. My stomach starts to turn, and bile rises, burning my throat. I run to the nearest trash can and throw up all of the contents in my stomach.
That was weird. I don't feel sick, and we had steak for dinner last night, so it shouldn't be food poisoning.
I grab the bag of trash and take it to the dumpster so no one knows I just puked my guts up in the break room, then come back to get my coffee. When I enter again, my stomach starts to turn from the smell.
Noted… No coffee for me today.
It's finally 5 o'clock, and I feel like I have accomplished absolutely nothing today.
Some first day back….
Everyone is already filing out of the office. I stand up to start to gather up my things, and my head starts to spin. I grab the desk with one hand and the little trashcan next to my desk and throw up the water in my stomach. That is the only thing I have been able to keep down today.
"You alright, O'Connor?" Michele, our forensics specialist, asks me.
"Yeah, I think so. Just been super nauseous today and thrown up twice so far. But I feel fine other than that. I might make an appointment with my doc to make sure it's not some virus."
"Girl, I don't want to step on toes or anything, but you might want to get a pregnancy test on your way home. This is exactly how I was with my son. Super sick, but fine other than that."
Did she just say pregnancy test? There is no way! Is there?
FUCK.
