“Wait, did he ask you to get ice cream, or did you ask him to go with you?”
“No, he did after he asked me to wait for him until after his game, but only if he scored.”
“That’s quite the gamble. Did the hockey boy say anything else?”
Twisting a strand of hair, I think about what Jax had shared tonight. “He mentioned I was the only girl who’d ever been in his truck aside from his sister.”
Ryan sits up and slaps her bedding. “Babe, that’s major! And maybe you’ll be the first and last girl he fucks in it too.” She waggles her eyebrows in an exaggerated way that has me rolling over with laughter.
“What the actual heck is going on with you?”
“I’m pent up and doubly so when I think of how lonely you are.”
“I’m not lonely, Ry!”
“Be so for real right now. You’ve never even been kissed. As far as I know, tonight is the first time you’ve held hands with a boy.”
“So? That doesn’t mean I’m lonely. Besides, I’ve got you.”
“You do. For life. But I’m your ride or die, not the one who’s going to get your blood pumping and heart thundering in your chest before you’re kissed for the first time.”
“I still don’t see how that makes me lonely.”
“I’ve just felt it since your mom, Tae. She was practically your whole world, and then in such a short time, she was taken from you. I’m not saying your hockey boy will become your whole world or be the love of your life, but you genuinely looked like you wanted to say yes to going with him tonight. And I think that’s a really freaking big deal.”
Pursing my lips, I mull her rationale over in my mind before admitting, “It is. But as much as I think he’s cute and wildly talented being able to balance on tiny blades, I don’t think I’m wrong in saying I don’t think he’s into me that way.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but if he met you for the first time at church, and he knows you’re the pastor’s daughter, you’re probably giving off virgin vibes. I think he’s into you and he’s just respecting you by going at your pace.”
Shaking my head at her foolishness, I mumble, “Gosh, I don’t even know why I care in the first place. It’s not a good idea to get involved with someone so close to graduation. You and I have said it from the start: when September comes, we’re leaving this town for good and never looking back.”
Ryan knows better than anyone my need to escape from this town. Since my mom’s death, my dad has become even more overbearing and strict. He tries to control my every waking hour, and I’ve grown tired of trying to maintain my perfect persona around him. I’m a teenage girl who should be trying new things, testing the boundaries, and making mistakes. It’s not like I wantto go out and try drugs, for goodness’ sake. But it also wouldn’t kill me to talk to a cute boy and get ice cream with him—tonight being the perfect example. Here I am, still alive and well in my room after doing just that with Jackson.
“So don’t make it something bigger than it needs to be with him. Keep things casual, start slow, and see where things go,” Ryan suggests.
“Casual?” I chuckle as I roll back onto my stomach. “You say that as if I have any experience interacting with boys whatsoever. How exactly am I supposed to keep things casual?”
“I don’t know. Tell him you’re looking for someone to help you check off yourTae’s things to do before collegelist. There are so many things on there I can’t possibly help you with.”
My brows wrinkle in confusion. “The only one on there you actually couldn’t help with was going on a ferris wheel ride, though I think it’d help you get over your fear of heights like I’m planning to do.”
“Yeah, about that. So, if you look at your journal, I may have added a few things to the list on your behalf. I felt like it was my duty as your best friend to push you outside your comfort zone.”
“Ryan . . .” I draw out her name as I hesitantly open my bedside drawer and lift the bottom to grab my journal from the hidden compartment I’m fairly certain my dad has no idea exists.
Shuffling through the pages, I find my list.
Tae’s things to do before college:
Go on a ferris wheel ride
Go to senior prom
