When I made the offer to give her a divorce after her treatment, I did so knowing there’s not a chance in hell I’m going to let her go without a fight. While she’s battling for her life, I’m going to do the same for our future together.
Tae will always be the love of my life, and I refuse to let her be the loss of it.
5
Then
“Pinch me!” I tell Ryan later that evening over FaceTime after Jackson dropped me off.
“Would if I could, babydoll, but considering you’re there and I’m here, I’ll just ask instead. What happened that I need to pinch you?” she asks.
Propping my phone on my nightstand, I roll onto my stomach and hold my hand up and begin counting. “Well, for one, I’m thankfully alive.”
She steeples her hands together and laughs. “Whew, thank the big man upstairs.”
Rolling my eyes, I hold up a second finger. “For two, I had the greatest night of my life.” Now I’m kicking my feet in the air and trying to muffle my squeals so my dad won’t hear.
“Girl, are you on an ice cream high? You literally only called me an hour ago to tell me you were going. Drop the dramatics, it was the greatesthourof your life. Which, props to him for lasting that long.”
I cover my face with my hands, my cheeks flaming red with embarrassment. “Ryan! Oh my goodness! No, that’s not what I meant!”
“Not yet, maybe. So, did he kiss you goodnight? Make out with you a bit? Oh, what kinda car does he drive?”
“An old Ford truck from, like, the seventies or something.”
“Does that mean it has a bench seat? Oh my god, did you sit in the middle? Did he lay you down on it? Did you get to second base?”
Shaking my head somewhat solemnly, I whisper, “We didn’t even kiss.”
“Wait?What? It was the single greatest hour of your life and he didn’t even kiss you?”
I shake my head again.
“Did he try to?”
“No. He did kiss my hand, though.” My tone is somewhat defensive.
“Wait, like, he grabbed your hand and kissed it like some prince kisses a girl’s hand?” Ryan questions.
“No, like he held my hand as he walked me to the house next door because I told him if my dad caught him walking me to my door, it wouldn’t be good. And then just before we got to my driveway, he pulled me into him with our joined hands and kissed the back of my hand.”
Butterflies swarm to life as I remember the coy smile that curved his lips right before he pressed them to my hand. I’ve got nothing else to compare it to—because what should be shocking to no one, I’ve got zero experience with boys—but it gave me the same rush as singing in front of an arena full of people.
“Oh em gee! That’s big for you, T!”
“I know. And if I’m being honest, I kind of wanted him to kiss me.” I hide my face behind my hand, embarrassed I admitted that out loud.
“Kind of?”
Peeking through my fingers, I see Ryan motion her hand in a circle as if to saycome on, out with it. “Okay, I really, really wanted him to kiss me. Maybe I had bad breath or something. He had mint chocolate chip, so I know his breath wasn’t the reason.”
“Maybe he didn’t want to move too fast?”
I scoff in disbelief. “Have you seen him? Of course you did, what am I even talking about? You saw him on FaceTime, and that was him right after a hockey game.”
Ryan nods her head in agreement. “I will say, he is, like, stupid hot.”
See, Ryan knows. I can’t even find it in me to be jealous over her comment because it’s one hundred percent accurate. “Exactly! So I’m sure girls throw themselves at him all the time. It can’t be because he didn’t want to go too fast. He just probably doesn’t like me like that.”
