When her stomach finally settles, she peeks up at me from where her head is resting against her arm. “You’ll forever be my greatest loss, Jackson Wilson,” she murmurs, completely withdrawn and devoid of emotion.
“I don’t have to be,” I point out in a tone matching her own.
“It’s beyond that. If it were simply up to what I want, this wouldn’t be happening,” she whispers as her eyes swell with tears. When a stray one escapes, I swipe it away with my thumb.
“I’ll never love again. I mean that. So if you ever change your mind, if circumstances change, there’s no reality that exists where I wouldn’t drop everything to be with you.”
She hiccups. “Stop, please. You’re making this even harder.”
Brushing stray strands of hair behind her ear, I hold the embrace for a moment longer than I should. “Maybe that’s the difference between us. Because wherever you go, my love would—will—follow. You’re just not willing to let me yet, and I’ll accept that, for now at least. But make no mistake, Taevin, I will always hold on to what we could be—what I hope our future will be someday, when you’re ready.”
She shuffles to her feet at that. “I should go.”
Don’t. Stay.Look at me before you walk away, baby, I silently plead as the love of my life walks out of my life with my bleeding, shattered heart in her hands.
Pain I’ve never experienced envelopes me, burning me alive as the distance between us grows.
Taevin doesn’t look back, not even a glance over her shoulder.
After a sleepless night, I’m delaying my departure to Boston, refusing to leave until I’ve talked to her in the light of day.Hoping dawn has brought Taevin clarity and she’s changed her mind.
I pound and pound on her front door until finally her father answers it. When he opens the door, his face is crestfallen and I can’t stomach the words I know are likely going to come out of his mouth.
“Taev isn’t here, Jackson. She left for Nashville earlier this morning.”
My head rears back as his words sink in. “What do you mean she left?”
Her father runs his fingers through is black hair. “She has a meeting with a record label this afternoon, and no matter how much I tried to talk her out of it, she said she wasn’t a minor anymore and she could choose what’s best for her. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”
Clasping my hands together above my head, I look up at the sky and let out a sigh of defeat.
“I’m sorry, son. I figured she’d leave me one day for greener pastures, but I just want you to know I can tell she really loves you.”
“Yeah, just not enough, I guess.”
Not wanting to break in front of her father, I turn and storm off to my truck, slamming the door shut with frustration before slamming my fist against the steering wheel.
“Fuck!”
I’m still screaming internally hours later as I settle into my new dorm room at Harvard. A milestone I was once excited for is now one I wholeheartedly resent because I know deep in my heart that if it weren’t for me being here, I’d still have the woman I love in my arms.
31
Now
After living in Nashville for the past decade, I nearly forgot how cold early October days here can get, especially when the weather is dreary like it is today.
Tugging the sleeves of my cardigan down over my hands, I snuggle further under the fuzzy blanket Ryan sent me and try to absorb as much heat from the fireplace beside the chair I’m curled up in as I finish the last few chapters of my book.
My phone vibrates with a message and I unlock it to find I’ve got a string of messages. Kenna, Dakota, Alexa, and Scarlett added Walker and I to their bookclub, which meant we were also added to their group chat text thread. Not only is the group name funny as hell, but the content shared back and forth is hilarious bordering on slightly unhinged. Like now, for example, as I read through and catch up on my missed texts with them, I can’t stop the laughter.
The Smutty Stickhandlers:
Kenna:
Alright, babes. Are we still on for bookclub this week?
Dakota:
