"Am I?" I snap. "Your love I mean."
Jamie has few triggers when it comes to me and how I can treat him. But the main one is questioning his feelings for me.
And I just yanked on that fucking thing.
Toxic V is in the house, and I'm ready to ruffle some feathers to get some answers. Because I won't haveanykind of relationship without communication.
I've broken enough hearts and ruined my soul because I was too chickenshit to talk to the people I loved the most.
That ends now.
I'll throw down the gauntlet myself since nobody else will. "Because I seem pretty replaceable where I'm standing."
Thirty-Nine
JAMIE
Did she just say that?
I have an emotionally intellectual mind, so I can see where Violet's coming from with her question. But fuck does it piss me off to no end.
The deep breath I force myself to take does nothing. I try to convince myself it gives me time to say something good back.No such luck.
"Of fucking course you’re my love!"
Shit. Ellis stiffens and shifts to face me a little as if he needs to keep an eye on me. I don't blame him.
"Don't sayof courselike it's obvious, Jamie," Violet responds with a roll of her eyes. I'm not sure I prefer the look in her eyes over her crying. The one right now is far too similar to the one she used to wear when she was keeping me at arm’s length.
"Of course it's obvious!" I have no filter, and the words I'm using are those of a child throwing a tantrum. I'm a complete and utter asshole. My dumbassdidn't even think fingerfucking Ellis would be a problem at the time.
Even an hour and a half later, I didn't think it would be an issue. Hell, Violet was on a date with Nate this morning!
"It's not! Not when they're here!"
Her furious eyes pin me in place, and I force myself to swallow the words that accuse her of going on a date with Nate without consulting me either. Defensiveness roars inside of me. Years of being rejected by Violet's heart force my vocal cords to spout my ugly truths.
"I love you! Can't you fucking see that, you stubborn, beautiful woman?!"
I'm lost in the relief of admitting my feelings to her. So much so that everything else comes pouring out.
Violet's face is flushed, and Nate and Ellis have closed ranks around me because I might as well be spitting fire with the pent-up emotion in my voice.
"I may not have as much going on or tears to cry, but fucking hell, Violet! Don't you think I'm confused too? That maybe I'm just going with what feels right?!"
She takes a step back, and the way her chin wobbles makes my heart clench. But all that does is release more things I should keep to myself.
"I'm a man. A fucking tattoo artist. I have powerful, dangerous friends. My tattoos, long hair, and dominant disposition are the surface. Below, I'm confused as fucking hell about why I can't keep away from Nate and Ellis. They're under my skin just like they're under yours."
Whipping around, I break eye contact with the woman I love and yank on my hair. It's a plea to make myself stop, but I can't. I've cut myself loose from the chains of what I'm expected to be. My love, mylife, will know how I feel even if I have to shred my tatted skin and growly voice.
"Yes, I should have talked to you about all of this before I fingerfucked Ellis in the ass?—"
"Could have left that part out..." Ellis mutters.
"Yes,I should have hijacked your date and demanded we figure our shit out before bringing them into it?—"
"Glad you didn't..." Nate murmurs.
