"You can be as quiet as you'd like, but I'll need youraddress somehow," I tease and tickle her cheek to get her attention.
My God, the way she looks up at me as if I'm her hero steals the breath from my lungs. I'll drive heranywherein complete silence as long as she wants to be with me.
Stay with me forever, baby.
Thirty-Five
VIOLET
"You must think I'm overreacting." It's possible I'm projecting howI'mfeeling. My current worry beyond how overwhelmed I am is how much I hurt Jamie by leaving in the middle of an argument.
Did I run away? Or did I take the space I needed? I feel like I left respectfully and gave him the reassurance I could in the moment. But jeez, a girl can only handle so many curveballs in one month.
"I don't think you're overreacting," Nate replies firmly. I can feel the glances he's giving me as he drives, but I'm too embarrassed about my behavior to look at him.
Swallowing, I try to imagine what he's thinking. "This must bring up all your anger with me, huh? Watching me run away all over again."
"Baby," Nate scolds gently, all the while my heart flips happily at the endearment. "Don't put words in my mouth. No, I wasn't thinking that atall because the clear difference with what just happened with Jamie is you communicated your needs."
"You think so?" This time I do peek over at him because it turns out I'm starving for some reassurance that I'm not ruining everything good in my life.
Nate nods. "I know so. You know what, this was because of Jamie's lack of communication and what I'm guessing was poor delivery before we got there."
"Very poor." With a sigh, I recall Jamie's nonchalant response when I asked him how he knew the guy who saved me when I was mugged.
"Hearing that Jamie kept a secret from you, even if it was one with good intent, must not have felt nice."
Nodding in response to Nate's guess, I find myself wanting to open up to this man like I did in the past. There has always been a comfortable connection of understanding and support about Nate.
Jamie and Nate have strong energies, but while Jamie is wilder and more commanding, Nate exudes calm confidence and a grounding presence. They complement each other very well.
"Violet, are you okay?"
"What?" I snap my head up, realizing I had placed my face in my palms. "I'm so sorry. My mind is messy, and I can't get it to stop."
"It's a good thing you'll be home in a few seconds," Nate assures me, though he sounds a bit disappointed. Once parked, he turns to me with the most open expression on his face. "Can I walk you up?"
Probably against better judgment, I say yes, but I've been struggling with feeling safe walking around atnight. Nate provides safety and an easy space to feel my feelings as he escorts me to Cassidy’s and my apartment.
"This is me," I murmur, already feeling disappointed about him leaving me here.
"Can I hug you?" Nate murmurs, looking unsure, but at the same time he seems prepared for any answer I could give him.
Tears immediately fill my eyes, and before I can even nod, I'm diving into his wide embrace. A sob explodes from my chest as if I've reached my breaking point. Nothing more can fit inside my head.
"Oh baby..."
"It's too much!" I cry, feeling like my chest is going to explode. The pressure in my forehead and my heart makes me ache, so I cling to him harder.
Nate's large hands rub my back and cradle the back of my head. He surrounds me and holds me up all the while my sanity collapses to its knees.
A creak sounds somewhere, and suddenly I hear Cassidy. "What's going—Oh! Oh shit. Bring her inside."
Nate thanks my friend and doesn't hesitate to lift my feet from the ground. Wrapping them around his waist feels easy, and honestly I don't have any mental capacity to second guess my actions anymore.
I'm too checked out and lost in my suffocating thoughts to listen to their soft voices, but I love the way Nate's chest vibrates against mine. When we were together and excited to meet for the first time, I was so excited about our size difference and to feel his arms wrapped around me.
Now, finally having him, I don't want to let him go.How could I have ever let him go?!
