"Jamie—"
Violet's tone sounds pained as I walk away from her, so I stop and grab her hand. Pulling her along with me, she stays silent as I rummage through my freezer.
With an ice pack tucked under my arm and Violet's hand in mine, I dampen a rag with warm water. The silence is thick with so many things we need to talk about, but first making sure she is okay is more important.
Settling her back on the couch, I avoid eye contact, wrap her in a blanket, and ensure the cold compress is in the right spot for her to ice her hip comfortably.
Then, I sit beside her and begin wiping her face with the warm towel. Blotchy and damp, her cheeks tell the story of her pain. So much happened tonight, I don't even know where to start.
Especially not when I could literally throw the fuckup. I let Ellis give me a blowjob. He's from Violet's past, and now they're my present...or past. Ellis' treatment of Violet tonight was sickening.
How could anyone treat this sweet woman with such disdain?
"We had plans," Violet whispers so brokenly I have no choice but to listen. "I—We loved each other."
Finally, I look into her eyes and see they're aimed over my shoulder and unfocused. Like she's remembering them.
"I never met them in person. We made plans to meet before Thanksgiving, but Mom was kidnapped on Halloween. Everything changed."
Barely breathing, I continue to run the towel over her pale skin. Slowly I move to her hands and soak in every word she graces me with.
"The police confiscated my phone. Grandpa gave me his old flip phone with a new number. No social media. No contact with friends. I unintentionally ghosted them."
I've known Violet avoids and refuses to interact with any kind of social media. What happened to her mom being tied to Violet's social accounts, I can understand why she cut it from her life.
Her fingers twitch when I drag the cloth between them. Ticklish maybe? My smile is soft as I do it again and watch her wiggle. I'm learning so many things about my woman.
"Mom was rescued." Violet takes a shuddering breath. "And I was in the clear to go about my life like normal again once everything came to a close. But..."
She couldn't.
"I couldn't." Tears trickle down her cheeks once again, so I shift and wipe them away. Breaking my heart, Violet continues. "The flip phone became my best friend. It kept me within the boundaries I needed to feel safe and like I wouldn't make the same mistakes again."
Fuck, it hurts just listening to her vague explanation of what she felt and still feels. Thinking about how deep her well of pain actually goes makes me a little murderous and a lot clingy. The desire to drag her onto my lap is strong, but I hold back for now. Once she's done talking, I'll snuggle the shit out of her. Right now I'm afraid that if I so much as twitch, she'll stop talking.
She sniffs, and her eyes dull even more. "I never spoke to them again. We were building somethingreal,and I ran from them."
"Because you were scared and traumatized," I interrupt, unable to stand the self-loathing I hear in her voice.
Violet blinks but doesn't look at me. "I loved them. Why didn't I lean on them when I needed them the most?"
"The same reason it's taken you five and a half years to open up to me, Sweets. Am I right?"
At that, she finally looks me in the eye and absolutelybreaks. "I'm so sorry!" she sobs and drops her face into her hands as her body shakes with anguish.
"Shit," I hiss and pull her to me. "V, shh. I don't fault you for anything. Please, just breathe."
I'm going to lose my mind if she drops into anotherpanic attack. Who knows how her body can deal with all the stress that's clearly wreaking havoc on her body.
"I'm sorry," she croaks into my chest. It's barely audible between sniffles and sobs.
With her cradled in my arms again, I run my hands along her legs and arms in an attempt to ground her. I continue to coo sweet things,truethings, as she cries. It takes a while, but she eventually settles.
"My love," I whisper, feeling choked up. "Everything is going to be okay."
She sniffles and looks up at me. "You-You aren't mad? I-I'm messed up. I pu-push the people I care about away. Who-Who does that?"
Kissing her forehead, I bask in the fact that she admitted she cares about me. My heart swells even though each thump hurts a little with the beatings it's received this evening.
