Jamie looks me in the eyes, and seems so serious. "Bash, my friend, said you were mugged. Or as much as you could be without having anything valuable on you."
"But I passed out? He didn't do anything to me, did he? The mugger?"Oh my God. What happened to me?
Jamie shushes me and places a hand on my chest above my boobs. "Breathe, Violet. In and out. Shit."
Lightheaded with chapped lips, I feel myself starting to slip away again.Why is everything so fucking hard?
"Damn it, Violet!" Jamie curses and scoops me into his arms. My tummy swoops and my head lists back a little with the force of his lift. "Breathe, my love."
My chest feels tight and so heavy as he settles me in the crook of his arm on the ground. Time slows as I study the black wavy pieces of hair that broke free from his hair tie.
Confused, I realize his face is blurring and looking more nervous as time passes. "V! Take a fucking breath!"
"Jamie? Is she okay?" a voice says just as a second new voice swears.
"Hold on, guys," Jamie demands and doesn't take his eyes off of me. "Violet, I—Fuck it."
The pressure beneath my breast bones becomesalmost unbearable, and I swear Jamie's face gets closer to mine.Am I passing out again?
Warmth encompasses my lips at the same time my eyes flutter closed. My mouth is opened by something firm and demanding, forcing a gasp to expand my lungs.
Jamie rips himself back from me and moves me to straddle his lap instead of being comfortable lying in his arms. "Yes. Yes, Violet. Keep going. Another one."
Eyes locked, Jamie encourages me to take gulps of air with him. Each inhale becomes longer and deeper, helping to bat away the buzzing in my mind.
"Jesus, Violet..." Jamie whispers once I catch my breath and slump against his chest. "You scared me."
"Sorry," I mumble into his chest. "I haven't had a panic attack in a long time."
Jamie's chest vibrates with a rumble. "I didn't know that. This is what Bash said made you pass out when you were attacked."
Attacked. Just like Mama.
"I was coming to see you..." My voice trails off and my eyes begin to burn. What already felt like it was going to be a difficult night was made so much worse. "I needed you..."
"Violet, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Fuck, Sweets. I'm sorr?—"
I grip his shirt and tug without lifting my head. "No, I mean I needed you in general. Not when that guy mugged me. I did some soul-searching and wanted to ask you something."
His arms tighten around me, and I feel like he's trying to force me under his skin.Never close enough.
"Anything," he promises, "you can ask me anything."
Steeling myself for the door I'm about to open, I lean back and search his gaze. He looks so scared and fierce. A contradiction, but one that makes asking my question much easier.
"What's your favorite color?"
Jamie beams so darn bright it surprises me, but what makes me jump is the choked noise from behind me. Twisting, I ignore the flare of pain in my right hip as I move.
Nothing matters beyond the conflicted gaze of two men I never thought I'd meet in person. My past sits on Jamie's couch, watching me with so much scrutiny and uncertainty that my breath has no choice but to stutter and stall.
"Ellis?" I rasp. "N-Nate?" Tears officially fall from my eyes as guilt and sorrow begin to push at the barriers of my body. "How?—"
I can't finish my question out loud, but Jamie picks up at a decent spot. "You know them?" he asks me, sounding shocked, which answers my question of whether he knew.
Ellis' eyes bore into mine, and I swear I see something cruel flicker in his brown eyes, but it's gone quickly with a shutter that blocks me from reading him. Nate seems conflicted, and I don't blame him because this is a surprise for all of us it seems.
"Yes. We know Violet." Straight and to the point, Nate admits our unfortunate connection.
