Something tickles the top of my head, and I decide to open my eyes. The living room is dim, so the sun must not be fully up yet.
"Do you think we need to kill someone?" With that response, I realize it's Jared playing with my hair.
I huff a laugh, feeling happier than I have inway too long. "No killing," I deny and shimmy until I'm sitting up to look at my mom's men.
Roman's wearing his usual black sweatpants andsweatshirt. His short black hair is wild, but it fits his ear piercing and neck tattoos pretty perfectly.
Jared's darker skin contrasts the tight white T-shirt he's wearing. But I don't notice much else about him beyond his frown. Jared never frowns.
"Kiddo..." Roman murmurs, sitting beside me and drawing my attention.
Sighing, I bring my legs up to sit cross-legged. "I just needed to come home."
Tears are already blurring my vision, so I look down at my lap. Tugging the blanket tighter around me, I try really freaking hard to find the strength to open up to them.
"Violet."
"Shit," I curse beneath my breath, not realizing Felix was sitting on the other side of the living room. "Good morning, Felix."
With an eyebrow raised, he silently scolds me for cursing. Which is wild because Mom curses like a sailor.
"Is that fucking Violet I hear?!"
See?
Leaping from the couch, I rush right into Mama's embrace as she too runs to me. The sob I've been holding back since I got in the car last night finally breaks free.
Muffled beyond my cries, I hear Felix telling Mom that he was just waiting for me to explain what's going on. I cling harder to her, not wanting to do this in front of all four of her men.
I just want my mom.
Thankfully, Mama understands me the way I knew she would.
"Can Violet and I each get a cup of coffee, a few slices of banana bread, and some fruit? We will be in the library."
Thank goodness.The library is her reading room with beanbag chairs, twinkly lights, stacks upon shelves of books. It's her escape and is the perfect place for me to open up once and for all.
I just hope all this time away from home hasn't diminished her motherly advice because I really need Blue Bennett to step up and untangle the knot in my brain.
Fourteen
BLUE
No mother who loves their kid as much as I doeverwants to hear how they've been struggling for so long. Of course I knew Violet had changed since my kidnapping, but learning how she's held back from her friends and potential love interests hurts me in a way I didn't know I could hurt.
For the past hour, V has been slowly but confidently explaining what's been going on. Wrestling my own inner turmoil has been hard, but staying present for Violet matters far more than my worries.
I'll cry on Roman's shoulder later while listening to Felix tell me it's not my fault. Jared will agree and explain how every young adult needs to go through some shit in order to grow. Then Declan will make a joke about hisgrowthbecause the four of them hate to see me cry.
"What's his name?"
"What?" she asks, frowning and looking at me like I've grown another head.
Leaning back in my chair, I wipe my fingers free of butter and prepare myself to dive into Violet's tortured psyche.That's dramatic.
"Violet," I start getting serious so she knows shit’s about to get real. "I've been listening to you for a while now. You've told me that you've been keeping people at a distance. How even when they push you, your response is aggressive or standoffish. That is not who you are, V, which is why I'm going to be giving Cassidy a big birthday gift this year. What I want to know is whoelseyou've been denying your beautiful heart?"
She's pale and shifty. Her body language tells me my hunch is right. That this is more than just a profound realization that her way of living isn't working. There's more going on that she's hesitant to voice.
