His smell this close has all kinds of things happening to my body. I can’t help myself. I nod against his chest, letting myself give in.
The house is stillnoisy with guys getting ready for bed and talking in their rooms. My room has its own small bathroom, so Elias brushes his teeth with one of my spare toothbrushes and puts a pair of my sleep shorts and an old t-shirt on before climbing into bed with me.
“You look good in a Princeton tee,” I say.
He looks down at the orange writing on a grey backdrop with a shy smile.
“Looks better on you.” He shrugs. He says it so casually, it doesn’t feel like lips service.
“Pfft.”
As soon as I lay down, Elias pulls the comforter over us and shuffles in close enough to wrap an arm around mywaist. His knees are pressed up gently against the back of mine. His body gives off so much heat, it’s like being wrapped in a cocoon. And his smell … don’t get me started. I never knew a person could smell so masculine.
“Elias?”
“Hm?”
“Why do you smell so good?”
When he laughs, the sound vibrates through his chest and causes a pleasant shiver to run down my back. It’s so quiet in my room I can hear him swallow. “Yousmell good,” he says.
When he presses his face against the back of my neck, his stubble feels so good against my skin that I moan. He takes a deep inhale, tightening his arm around my waist as he presses the lower half of his body tighter, too.
I automatically start grinding back, feeling him get hard. His hand slides down my stomach until it’s on my hip, gripping me in place.
“Stop,” he whispers. “Your fraternity brothers are next door, they’ll be able to hear us.”
For some reason, the thought doesn’t fill me with only dread.
“Is it possible to be scared and turned on at the same time?”
He swallows, loudly. “What are you scared of, Spatz?”
“What are you calling me?”
“Sparrow. Tell me, what’s scary?”
“Sparrow?”
He rubs soothing circles on my hip, probing me to go on. “Stop changing the subject. Tell me what you’re afraid of.”
I let out a big sigh. “I’m not sure … I’m scared of how much I don’t recognize myself these days.”
“In what way?”
“Like … the old Ben would never have done the things I’ve done.”
“Like what? Have sex?”
“Mm.”
I wait for him to laugh at me, but he’s quiet, still rubbing circles over my hip with his thumb until my eyelids flutter.
“It’s just new, that’s all.”
I tune into that thumb until it becomes my entire world.
“Feel better?”
