This is really happening. I’m kissing a man. And it feels so … good. So … right.
Relief mingles with pleasure and it all gets too much.
I pull away on a gasp.
It takes a second or two for Elias to drop his hand from my neck. His eyes dart over my face.
“Sorry,” I say.
“Why?Ikissedyou.”
“I know, but?—”
“You didn’t like it?”
“No, I….”God, did I like it!
“So …” He shrugs with one shoulder. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem is … well….” I rub my neck, pressing against the spot where Elias’ fingers had been holding me in place while he kissed me.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
He raises one eyebrow.God, even that has a fire igniting in the pit of my stomach. Why does he have to be so sexy?
Before he can say anything, I jump in, stumbling over my words. “I mean, notanyone …Well, I’ve kissed a girl, or two, maybe three….”
“You’ve never kisseda man.”
“Right.”
“How long have you known that you’re gay?”
“Years.”
“Why did you keep kissing girls if you know you’re gay?”
He makes everything sound so simple.
“Not everyone has the guts to just go out there and grab what they want without asking questions.” My tone is more defensive than I’d intended.
“I’m not trying to insult you,” he says. “I’m just trying to understand.”
I lean back with a sigh, glancing up at the vintage map above my bed. How is this sexy man in my bedroom, willing to kiss meandlisten to me talk?
“I guess I’m just shy. And no one ever came onto me. Girls did, sometimes. And I’m bad at saying no.”
“Is that why you kissed me back?”
“Huh? Oh, no, definitely not.”
His lips quirk up on one side. “I’m the first man you’ve ever kissed.”
I nod, bite my lip.
“You’re so cute.”
My heart sinks. “I don’t want to be cute. I want to be sexy.”
