“I’m sorry, but I just don’t see a future for us, and it’s better to rip off the band-aid before it gets too deep,” he says, and I can’t believe what he just told me.
Too deep?
No future for us?
I’ve already fallen head over heels in love with the man who’s breaking my heart.
I shake my head at him, contemplating what’s happened from this morning to now.
Where has this come from?
We’ve been so good together, and then suddenly he decides that he’s done.
“I don’t know what happened to the Luke I know, but he sure as hell isn’t sitting here right now. He would never be such a coward and wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when he’s breaking up with me.” His eyes turn to me, and his pained expression matches my own.
He has no right to be hurt; he’s the one breaking up with me, for Christ’s sake. His eyes drop to the floor again, and he simply says,
“I’m sorry.” I rise from the couch, looking down at him.
“Yeah, me too.” Before I storm off, tears falling down my cheeks.
???
They call it heartbreak, but it feels like my whole body is torn apart.
Everything hurts, and I feel so physically sick that I’ve wondered if I have a cold.
But no, the only thing wrong with me is the hole in my chest.
At first come the tears. I cry for the first twenty-four hours, grateful we are on the road, and no one is really acknowledging me. I stay in my room on the bus, avoiding everyone, knowing that if anyone saw me in this state, they would start asking questions.
We’ve been traveling to Sydney, where the gala will take place.
At hour twenty-five, I decide no more tears and enter a state of numbness where I feel everything and nothing all at once.
Whenever someone calls my phone, whether it’s my parents, Sarah, or even Lily, a small glimmer of hope arises, thinking it might be Luke.
But no, he’s been radio silent ever since he broke my heart on Monday.
Just like that, I was out of his life.
After forty-eight hours, I decide to turn my misery into action by drowning myself in work. This is leading to too many drafts, with his name and performances haunting meat every turn.
He’s everywhere.
Dating the championship leader will do that to a reporter.
After seventy-two hours, my doubts are slowly creeping back in, and I wonder if I made the right choice when taking the gamble on Luke.
Maybe I should have trusted my gut from the start, telling myself that this wasn’t a good idea.
As soon as the thought enters my mind, I shut it out.
No. I will never regret being with Luke, no matter how hard it hurts now.
I went into this F1 adventure, promising myself to stop hiding and take the chances as they arose. He was there, supporting me every step of the way and helping me grow, and for that, I will forever be grateful to him.
I’ve become stronger, less scared of what everyone else thinks of me and what I do.
