I squatted, gathering the scraps of my familial line without question or backlash. One piece after another, I slowly picked them up, not a tear falling in response to his destruction. I’d deserved it after all; this was merely the aftermath of the damage I’d caused, the opposition that would never flow from me again.
Crumpling up the remnants of my father’s letter and the photo of my mother and sister that I’d kept on the bulletin board as a means to watch over me, I turned to address my commander. “How would you like me to dispose of these, sir?”
“Put them in here.” The box I’d once used to hide them now became a trash pile as I discarded them inside per his demands.
Oren closed the lid, tucking it under his arm. “Six o’clock sharp. Tomorrow. Also, you’re due for a trim and cutting hair with a knifereallyisn’t my forte.”
“Yes, sir. I will see to it.”
He turned, and I thought he’d accomplished his goals, but he stopped, his hand resting on the threshold of the door. “You know, I didn’twantto become like this. I thought… I thought we might’ve had a future, but I was blinded by a mask you refused to take off. Youleftme because I was weak, so I rid myself of it. It wasn’t until I started that I discovered the weakest part of me was tethered to you.”
It was a cut into an already gaping wound, but I’d bled far too much for it to matter. I was numb, unsavable, and he wasn’t wrong—I’d failed him in every definition of the word. But it would never happen again. I’d be his best soldier, the one who he could command to do whatever he pleased because that’s all that remained.
An obedient mutt molded into a life of servitude.
“I apologize for the weight of my negligence, Commander. I will comb through my faults until nothing remains but submission,” I stated, each syllable monotone, any remaining feelings vacating.
His hand gripped the threshold tighter, and I almost expected him to talk again, but he solidified his agreement with a nod.
“Is there anything else you need from me, sir?” The question came naturally, as if I’d always been molded to bow to him – easy and instinctive. “If not, and with your permission, Commander, I’d like to excuse myself to follow through with your orders on a trim.”
“Go for it, recruit.” He squared his shoulders, and looked over his shoulder at me. “You might not cry like I did, but at least I know you’re too numb to fucking care.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
OREN
Clutching the box in my hand, I didn’t know what to do with the pieces. Part of me wanted to toss them in water or burn them completely, but another, more vulnerable part refused to do something so tainted.
Ineededto do it to remove that weakness from the equation forever. I’d become the perfect soldier, the perfectson; I’d never seen my dad smile at me like that before.
Like I was actually worth something.
I was going to be acommander. A commander to people I used to call friends, but didn’t they go along with it, too? Did they even fight for me when I didn’t show up that morning? Did they care?
Did anyone?
I raked my hands across my face, muddying the feeling of loneliness… ofwishingI had someone, but that wasn’t going to happen. Everyone around me betrayed me or fucking died.
What good is freedom when heartache, disappointment, andpainare all that exist? What good are friends if they just get taken away?
Thorne… Thorne had washed it all away, and IknewI’d fallen into my father’s trap. I wasn’t stupid… an idiot like he believed me to be, but what choice did I have?
I was tired, broken, a shell of nothingness.
It was either succumb or deal with his manipulation, his presence, his… historturealone for days.
That’s why I ran, because I was a coward.
Thorne Graves fucking called me out, and I punched him for it.
It’s why I looked for a university outside of the country. Why I covered myself in fashion, makeup, and jewelry, because I hoped he wouldn’t recognize me. That I’d be so repulsive he’d neverwantto be associated with his son.
And then… and thenhebroke me. Rendered me to that bathroom floor in a few simple words, but I wasn’t alone.
I had Simon, Matthew, and Liam. I had my friends to rely on to keep from falling into my father’s wishes. But when he removed them, made me stay alone? I had nothing to propel me forward, because what does a coward do when there’s no one to fall back on?
“Oren?” The utterance of my name cut off my internal spiral, the depth of the utterance only belonging to one steady force.
