Oh, what the hell was I even thinking? He was a new recruit. Fresh meat to the higher-ups like me and the more refined men on my squadron. It was his first fucking day, and I was sitting here hung up on the thought of him while moping like a fucking stray dog.
Maybe that’s because that’s all I was—an abandoned mutt. But I knew one thing for certain: I was extremely efficient at sitting on my soapbox. That, as well as fucking and killing. I was a troubled but well-rounded man.
I got off on pain and pleasure, and wasn’t ashamed to admit it. My drinking habits spoke loudly enough of that fact. Still, at least drowning myself in liquor this early in the day meant I wouldn’t be hungover tomorrow morning—one stern talking to from Matthew would be enough, especially once he found out I’d done so on an empty stomach.
Who had time for breakfast anyway? I didn’t. Not when I had enough on my plate, duties I’d signed myself away to as a means to protect our country. Or perhaps it was because I had no other choice. Life wasn’t really fair in any definition of the word.
But maybe,maybelife could be a little more sunny, a little lighter, if I’d just?—
The door clicked, announcing the one person I was hoping would stay busy long enough for me to sober up. Matthew walked in, exuding an air of confidence. There was no way to hide my transgression, and I was less than willing to listen to him scold me. There was no way to hide it, and I was less than willing to listen to him scold me.
Matthew sat down, his boots slapping the table with enough force to rattle it. “You smell like a bottle of bourbon and the cheap kind.” There was no rise in his timbre, only steadiness that didn’t help to easeanyof my burdens.
He ran a hand down his face, cropped hair slightly damp from the workout I assumed he came from. His stubble was eating through his jaw, but not as hard as the scowl etched onto his skin, tanned from constantly working outside under the never-ending heat here, in the Nevada desert. He untucked his shirt from his pants, wiping a bead of sweat from his slick forehead as he waited for my reply.
“I’m glad you are acquainted with liquor enough to decipher the smell between cheap and expensive.” I lolled my head to the side to look at him thoroughly. “And before you get on my fucking ass, Iknow.”
“If you know, why’d you do it?” Matthew was always sincere, a genuine person, afriend, someone more acquainted with me than I was with myself. There were no snide remarks, no condescending tone. It would come after the why. At my silence, he pressed further. “Look, there are only a few things that get you to down liquor to this degree.Whatis it?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I quipped, turning my attention back to the ceiling before closing my eyes again. “Besides, I don’t need parenting. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Matt.”
“Nah, that shit doesn’t fly with me. I’m not parenting. It’s calledcaring, and you should know that by now.” He shifted, settling further into the couch. “Right now, I’d say you’re far from taking care of yourself. Was it a hit to your ego?”
“Harveil,” I snarled, the near-animalistic sound encapsulating his last name, the only warning I’d offer him. “Don’t.”
“So it was that. Do I need to beat someone up?” he asked, his tone softening. “It’s not often someone gets under your skin. I’d like to meet the poor soul before you kill them.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Clenching my jaw, I swallowed the building emotion. “Just another rebellious recruit. Nothing we can’t handle.”
“Wait, rebellious recruit? You don’t mean Valens’ son, do you? The guy who’s starting today?”
Oh, fuck me.
“You met him?” I asked.
“Hell no, but whohasn’theard of Oren Valens? The spoiled son of General Valens, who gives zero fucks andallthe fucks at the same time?” Matthew whistled, olive-green eyes staring at the ceiling. “What a privilege it must’ve been to be the first to meet him, or well, have a crack at his ego.”
Privilege?Privilege?
“Yeah, something like that,” I replied half-heartedly, running my tongue across my teeth. “One thing’s for sure; the kid loves to run his mouth.”
“What do you expect? He’s never had to experience the hardships we’ve gone through. His dad pays for everything,” he said while raising his arms. “Imagine that. A life served on a silver plat—wait,you’renot in charge of the brat, are you? Don’t tell me you agreed to something detrimental to your sanity?”
“You know his father.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t say no. You do everything that man tells you to.”
“Because Ihave to,Matt. He’s our fucking Commander-in-Chief. Disobedience isn’t an option with him, not without repercussions.” Running a hand down my face, I exhaled heavily. “He reached out to me and asked if I’d take his son on as a member of our squadron.”
“Our squadron? He wants him… to joinus?” There was no denying the rise in pitch, laughter bubbling within, but Matt was always good at holding it. “I mean, you’re great at cracking the average man, but he seems like a lost cause. What happens if he doesn’t meet the standard? Does it fall on you?”
My jaw feathered. “Do you want the honest answer? Or would you prefer I beat around the bush?”
“You really have to ask?”
“Yes. It falls on me.”
“Goddamn it, Thorne.” His teeth clacked, couch ruffling as he sat upright, the cue for the onslaught of his thoughts. “You have enough on your plate already, and besides, why is it alwaysyou? Are there really not enough competent people to handle one pompous kid?”
