“If you can catch him. He's wriggly.”
Killian snorted. “Yeah, he is. But we've got him in a locked room, and you have those Light lassos you can use, Wonder Woman.”
“Oooh! I am kinda like Wonder Woman!”
“Dear Goddess, these are my future parents,” Dagur muttered.
“Watch it, dickhead!” Killian pointed at Dagur. “It's up to Rowan whether you get married. She might just use you and discard you.”
“Or she may not be attracted to you at all when she gets older,” I added. “When I was her age, my biggest crush was Optimus Prime.”
“Yes!” Killian punched his fist into the air. “That's awesome, babe. I'm going to name my cock Optimus Prime. You know, the main one, not the second.”
Conri rolled his eyes. “Yes, we all know about your two dicks.”
“Shut up.” I pointed at Con. “He's proud of them for good reason.”
“Thanks, babe.” Kill picked up my hand and kissed it.
“Who is Optimus Prime?” Dagur asked.
“You see, I don't like that you don't know that.” Killian pointed at him.
“He's an Elf, babe,” I said.
“Yeah, but he lived on Earth.”
“Yes, in an underground Elven community. It's not the same as like, Dax.”
“Oh. Yeah. All right.”
“Optimus Prime is a robot,” I said. “And a cartoon. As in, a drawing. As in, there was no way I was going to marry him, and even if he were real, I wouldn't be attracted to him as an adult. In other words, you're cute to her now, but when she grows up, she may change her mind.”
Dagur looked at me as if I were being deliberately ignorant. “I will be whatever Rowan needs me to be. But I know she will not discard me. We have built a foundation of trust and affection. She would never be cruel to me.”
I gave Killian a look. “Maybe we should start teaching her to be more like Shahzy.”
Killian snorted. “Impossible. Our girl is more of an Angel than Miri is.” He looked back at Dagur. “You're right. She won't discard you. But she mightkindlybreak up with you.” Killian grinned when he saw Dagur pale. “After all, she's part human, and humans are very unpredictable.” He took my hand. “Come on, babe. I think he knows his place now.”
As we left the room, I tossed over my shoulder, “Three days a week supervised! You are never to be alone with my daughter! If I find you with her alone, I will fucking banish you.”
“Oooh, banishment,” Kill drawled. “I like that. You're so sexy when you get stern. You wanna banish me to our bedroom?”
“Do you need guards for that?” Conri stepped into place behind us. “I'm available.”
Gradh smacked him in the arm.
“Ow! I was joking, my love!” Conri whined. “I can't help it. I'm overcoming years of being a philandering asshole. You have to at least let me flirt a bit.”
“No, I don't.” Gradh inclined her head to me and then headed back to the dining hall at a fast clip.
“Baby!” Conri rushed after her. “I love you! Only you! I swear it on my father's horns.”
“Cu-Sidhe don't have horns!” Gradh shrieked.
“On my mother's hooves, then! Come on, love.”
Kill smirked at me. “It looks like we're alone, Twilight.”
