“I know,” I said. Tenderness came then, another unfamiliar emotion. “I do trust you. I just hope you don't see me differently afterward.”
“I'm sure I will,” he said. “But I'm also sure it will be for the better. Go one. Tell me.”
Aras trusted me too. I heard it in his words but also felt it through our bond. He truly believed that whatever I said next would only make him see me as a better man. I hoped that trust wasn't misplaced.
“I was not born a nobleman,” I said. “I didn't have the training of the other men who entered the crown tourney. I trained myself with the help of my father. But that wasn't the greatest obstacle for me to overcome. From the moment I entered, I was pushed down—both physically and mentally. Even though I fought one Dragon at a time, it felt as if they were all in the ring with me during every fight. They helped each other, tossing weapons into the ring, throwing things at me, shouting insults, and generally fucking with me. It was the only tourney in my dread's history in which most of the contestants banded together against one. They didn't care who won, as long as it wasn't me.”
“Great Sera,” he whispered the name of the Hulfrin God. “And you still won.”
I frowned at him. “They didn't want me as their king. They still don't. They think I'm unworthy.”
“Only the nobility,” Aras growled. “And what the fuck do they know about being a good king?”
I lifted a brow. “It's rather in the word. Nobility.”
Aras snorted. “I think you know what I'm going to say, Ly.”
“They don't deserve to be called nobles?” I smirked.
“Something like that. I was going to go with a simple, 'Fuck them.'”
I burst out laughing. “My crown was hard-won, and I find pride in that, but I've always felt humiliation under the pride. I suppose even rebels feel the sting of scorn.”
“That's why they become rebels.” He squeezed my hand. “Fuck, ruling must be harder for you than other kings.”
“I can't speak to the issues other kings must deal with, but I have to constantly maintain a regal demeanor that I wasn't born with. If I let the mask fall for even a second, they will deride me. They probably do so despite my efforts.”
“There are no Dragons here but you and your knights.”
“My knights.” I snorted. “They are all nobles. Only noblemen may serve the King.”
“Oh, shit,” Aras whispered. “So those guys out there, the ones who are supposed to protect you, they all think you're a piece of shit?”
“Well, that's not how I would put it, but yes. They all think I am beneath them. A commoner who killed many of their own to become King. Let's just say, I don't trust them to put their all into protecting me.”
“Ah, so it isn't just that you weren't born noble. It's also the fact that you proved yourself better than they are. And many of them died in the process.”
“Have I proved myself better?” I leaned back and glanced out the circular window. The sea was so calm. But it wore a mask too. That serene appearance hid deep waters full of dangerous creatures.
“Ly?”
I looked back at Aras.
“Thank you for sharing this with me. I know we haven't been together for long, but I feel . . .”
“Yes?” I whispered, not daring to hope that he might be developing feelings for me.
“Close to you. These last five days have been incredible. I really did end a two-year relationship for you.” Aras wove our fingers together. “I want more than sex. Do you want more? With me?”
“Was I not clear when I vowed to murder anyone you fucked?”
Aras laughed boisterously. When the laughter settled into a smile, he said, “Not really. No. I thought you were being possessive, which I can get into, but it's a far cry from the real connection I'm looking for.”
“Real connection,” I murmured, wanting more than ever to tell him that we were already connected forever. “Yes, I want that too.”
“Then tell me more, Ly.” He squeezed my hand and wrapped his tail around my right calf. “Why do those nobles look down on you? Who were you before you became the King? Is it just that you weren't one of them?”
“I suppose there are different levels of common that I'm not aware of. All my life it's simply been nobles and everyone else,” I said with a shrug. “I was a farmer. There shouldn't be anything shameful about that.”
