“Eventually. Sort of. You said you were waiting for me to love you. You know that's not how relationships work, right?”
“Our relationship is unusual. It has to be.”
I just stared at him.
“You didn't have to intimidate them like that,” he finally said.
“They surrounded us. Their intentions were clear. I could have done a lot worse. Instead, I protected us. I made it so that we could fade instead of fight. I thought you'd appreciate that.”
“I do. But I would have appreciated your trust even more.”
“What do you mean? I trust you.”
“If you trusted me, you would have let me handle my clan in my way. But you let your pride get the better of you.”
“No, I . . .” I trailed off, replaying the scene in my mind. “Yeah, maybe. Rahu was just such an asshole about humans.”
“The Corrupted dragged his little sister out of his arms and tore her apart, Ember,” Vex said softly.
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed.
“I know you've seen terrible things, and I know some of them have been done to people you love, but I don't think you really understand what the immortal races go through. I think you're prejudiced in your own way.”
“Prejudiced?! Are you fucking kidding me? I'm human. All of you are prejudiced against me.”
“That alone tells me how prejudiced you are. You live in a citadel full of men who are immortal and decidedlynotprejudiced against you.”
“Only because they're touched by the Goddess, and so they trust her decision.”
Vexen's eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Oh, come on, Vex!” I huffed. “You know some of these guys would be just as against me as your clan, if not for the Goddess. A lot of them were at first. Fuck, even Xae didn't like me. And I do get it, by the way. I know humans aren't the only ones who suffer in the war. My people are the weapons, but everyone else is the target. Weapons get used more often, but targets get hit.” I grimaced. “Except when Death decides to change things. Now everyone gets hit.”
“If you understand that, why couldn't you understand Rahu? Why couldn't you just be quiet and let me deal with him?”
“Be quiet,” I murmured. “Huh. Yeah, maybe I was too proud.” I looked off to the side as my chest clenched. It was moments like this when I really missed Ara. He understood me better than anyone. “Maybe I was too showy.” I waved my hand limply. “All this power must be getting to my head. I'm supposed to be the fucking savior of the world, but Goddess forbid I be tooproudabout it.”
“Ember,” Vex growled.
“No. I'm tired, Vexen.” I turned toward the door and opened it.
As soon as I opened it, it was shut again. Vexen's palm laid flat against the wood—a strong warrior's hand but without blemish. Because immortals only scar when they're children. Would he ever truly understand me?
“I don't want to fight with you anymore. So, please remove your hand,” I said.
“Ember, damn it!” Vex spun me around. “Make a fucking decision. Are you a martyr or a hero?”
“Excuse me?” I felt my chest go cold. This man had such wondrous words inside him and the talent to string them together in powerful ways. He could take me to the sky with his words. And, as I had just discovered, he could also crush me.
“You heard me. Yes, there's a lot on your shoulders, but the Goddess has given you a lot too. You are the only immortal human on the planet. That alone is a great gift. But you also have her magic and blessing. You have all of us to support you. You have magic, Ember. So, are you going to focus on the negatives or are you going to embrace the positives?”
“You know, that argument is old. I've had it with myself nearly every day since this has begun.” I pushed him back, suddenly furious, and pointed at him. “And I don't fucking need you to bring it up. I know I should focus on the good. And believe me, I know there's a lot of good in my life. But no one, not even you, Mr. Enlightened, can be positive every second of every day. Because we all have these things called feelings!”
“Ember,” Vexen's tone softened.
“NO!” I pointed at him again, this time at his face. “You should have let me walk away, Vex. You want to get to know me better? Here's your first lesson; if I try to leave an argument, let me. Because you may be good with words, but I can get fucking vicious and brutally honest when I'm angry. And you have made me really fucking angry!”
“Ember, calm down.”
