“Sure. Sure.” Jesus nodded. “We found it all right. Out in the middle of Araboth.”
“The Ark was in the desert?” Az scowled.
“Appropriate,” I said.
Their heads swiveled toward me.
“Because of the whole forty years in the desert thing,” I said. “You know, with the Israel people.”
“The Israelites?” Azrael gave me a bemused look.
“Yeah, them.”
“They wandered the wilderness,” Jesus said and made a face. “All because Dad got aggro over them doubting him.” Jesus shook his head. “Even when he tried to be good, he was still a dipshit.”
“Wasn't the wilderness a desert?” I asked.
“Well, yeah. Yeah, you're right.”
I rolled my eyes.
“So, someone played a historically accurate prank with a great weapon and priceless artifact?” Trevor asked.
“It seems that way,” Jesus said. “But it hasn't stopped there. All over the Heavens, things have gotten moved, making Angels jumpy.” He motioned to Abaddon. “I put Abaddon in charge of the University, and it's gotten unreal over there too.”
Hearing his cue, Abaddon leaned forward and said, “The scrolls have been put out of order.”
“The scrolls?” I asked as Azrael gasped.
“The scrolls from the library of Alexandria,” Azrael said. “No one touches those scrolls. They're kept under spells of preservation and copies are available for reading so that the scrolls never have to be moved.”
“But they were?” I asked. “Were they moved in a particular way?”
Jesus snorted and his lips twitched.
Abaddon said, “They were stacked like logs for a fire.”
I blinked. “A fire. As in the way the library was destroyed?”
“Yes.”
“We have a trickster on our hands,” I murmured.
“Sounds as if someone is just having some laughs at your expense,” Taran said to Jesus. “Maybe they're trying to shakeyou up and see what you're made of since you just took the throne. I suggest you stay calm, set things back to normal, and ignore it.”
“Remain calm and ignore it?” Jesus asked. “My people are freaking out, man. Just freaking out. And the King of Heaven doesn't just sit back and say, 'It's all copacetic,' when the Heavenly Host is freaking out.”
“All right.” Taran held up his hands. “It was just a suggestion.”
“Sorry, man.” Jesus sighed. “I told you, this has got me spacey. I don't know what to do. I was hoping the God Squad might come and take a look.”
“We don't need the Squad,” I said. “Trevor and I can track whoever did this.”
“Man, I really am spaced out,” Jesus said. “I knew that. I didn't think of it, but I knew it.”
“We'll go right now,” Trevor said.
I grimaced at Taran.
