“It's about time you've admitted I'm the smart one,” Elias said as he sauntered back into the room. He set two plates down on our table, then called out, “You can come inside now!”
The two Dragon knights hurried into the room with a swirl of snowflakes and shut the door against the wind. They nodded at Elias gratefully, then hurried to their table. As soon as they sat down, they warmed up their cooling beverages by blowing flames over them, then drank deeply. Even Vashana was back at her spot before the fireplace. Everyone relaxed now that Rian was calm and everything had been explained to me.
Everyone was relaxed but me.
I stared at my meal—a stack of sliced meat and cheese between two thick slices of bread—and tried to push away the sense of dread that was filling me. I nearly pushed the plate away instead, too full of doom to fit anything more in my belly. But Rian was watching me, and the last thing any of us needed was the Dragon King upset. Again.
A shiver ran through me as I pasted on a fake smile. What was I doing? It felt a lot like the old me. Catering to a more powerful man. Bowing to his rule. Putting his needs above my own. I didn't belong there, with a king, in a Dragon enclave, trying to fight a fucking bug infestation that I suspected his ex-lover started. What the actual fuck was happening?
The only thing I knew for certain was I needed to go home.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
We stayed at Elias's cafe till late that night, long after he had gone from serving coffee to ale. Elias wasn't lying when he said we had come in at an off hour. Dragons began arriving an hour after we finished our meal, and Elias had to get up from our table to start working. Nor did he work alone. Shortly after the first guests arrived, three Dragons walked in, put on aprons, and started waiting tables. Elias retreated to the back to cook, but emerged whenever he had the chance so he could talk with his old friend.
And Elias wasn't the only one Rian spoke with. Word of the King's presence spread and our table became the focal point of the room, with Dragons coming by to pay their respects and speak with Rian on all manner of subjects. When would they get another such opportunity, after all?
I drew back from it all, only nodding when I was introduced as the King's consort—something I hadn't spoken to Rian about yet despite how long we'd been in Riscavik. There wasn't much to say. He had given me a prestigious title, and I was happy with it. Still, not even bringing up the way he had granted me the title without speaking to me first was yet more proof of my regression into the old Galin. As Rian gained confidence in our relationship, I lost it. I lost myself. The onlything that kept me from ending things with him was love. I had to find a way to work this out, or I'd suffer more than a regression.
I had a feeling that getting over Rian was going to be a lot harder than getting over Rontor.
As the night wore on, dread turned into despair. There were two possible outcomes for our relationship. Either I lost myself to Rian and allowed him to rule me with his dragon—an endless back and forth between the loving man and savage beast. Or I fought back, possibly got hurt, possibly had to flee anyway, and lived with the wounds my lover inflicted, both emotional and physical. Neither option seemed good. Neither made me into the man I wanted to be. Neither offered me the security and love I needed.
What about a third option?
Sure. I could leave him now.
I stared at Rianvar. The Dragon King. The center of my world. Not just mine, but everyone else's in this kingdom. And not just because he was King. People were drawn to him. Pulled like ripe fruit falling to the ground. Inevitable. His smile. His eyes. His bearing. Rian had charm. Charisma. And my heart. Leaving him wasn't an option.
So what the fuck was I going to do?
Promise me, little one, Rontor's voice came into my mind, reaching through the past to grab me.Promise me you will never allow anyone to abuse you, not even a Dragon king.
“I promise,” I whispered.
“What was that?” Rian turned toward me with a smile.
“I think it's time I go home, Rian,” I said.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Yes, I suppose it's getting late.”
“No, I mean back to Vagasof.”
“Another ale, Your Majesty?” a man offered.
“No, thank you. Excuse me, I need to speak with my consort.” Rian stood up, held out a hand to me, and helped me to my feet. He didn't say another word, just escorted me through the room and then through the kitchen. He knew the place well, navigating the maze of the back rooms to find a quiet corner in less than a minute. Only then did he stop and face me. “What's wrong?”
Vashana sat by my side and stared at Rian as if she knew he could now pose a threat.
“I can work better at home. This place . . .” I shook my head. “I can't relax here. I can't think. I need to feel comfortable, Rian.”
He nodded. “I understand. All right. We'll go home tomorrow. I shouldn't tarry here too long either. I'm sure there are things that require my attention back in Vagasof. And I know my family has not been the easiest on you.”
“They're fine. Some of them are even wonderful. It's just too much to worry about. I can't concentrate on the problem with the beetles.”
“Is it me?” Rian went grim. “Am I part of the too much?”
I looked away.
