“Yeah, it is, fucker!” I shoved at his chest. “Because I want you too!”
As my words rang out, a shiver went down my spine. That had been too honest, and it wouldn't achieve anything good.
I opened my mouth to take it back, but before the words could form, Jath had me in an embrace and sucked the words right out of me. Instead of pulling away, I held him. Pulled him closer. It was the hallway all over again, reason abandoning me the second he touched me. The desire Jath wrenched out of me was so powerful that I couldn't even think to fight it. The thoughts never arose. All I could think of was the feel of his bulging muscles under my hands and those sleek feathers. The taste of his kiss and the way his tongue teased mine. And the hardness between us.
Jath groaned and grabbed my ass to pull me tighter against his erection. Grinding his hips, he created that lovely friction my body sought and sent my mind spinning again. Then he brought his wings down, cocooning us in dark feathers. Everything else disappeared. The garden, my lovers, the entire world. Even my sweaty clothes didn't matter. There was just Jath and me.
The scent was amazing—oranges, masculine musk, and sunshine. I sucked it in as Jath made love to my mouth, drawing the passion from me in sips and silken brushes of his lips. My knees buckled, and he caught me, lifting me off my feet and bringing our heads in line. My arms went around his powerful shoulders and my legs wrapped around his waist. I clung to him as if letting go meant death.
And then Jath drew back, and my heart shuddered. But he didn't pull away entirely, only kissed his way along my jaw to my neck. As he nibbled and bit, I writhed, my cock pressed against his belly. And then he was lowering us. I found myself on the grass beneath him, his wings now a canopy. A feathered tent.
Jath's hands roamed my chest, then pushed up the hem of my tunic. I'd discarded my belt along with my armor, so he didn't have to deal with that. Still, his shaking hands fumbled with my pants, taking several moments to get them unbuttoned. All the while, I stroked his hair and watched him, wondering what the fuck I was doing. That wondering stopped when he touched my cock.
As it had with him in the hallway, the touch yanked me out of passion and flung me into reality.
“Wait!” I flinched and shoved myself back into my pants. “No, I can't do this.”
Jath looked at me first in confusion, then irritation, then anger. “Are you playing with me now? Is this some kind of payback?”
“No, of course not.” I ran my hand through my hair as I got my breathing under control. “You . . . I just . . . fuck, I want you, and that clouded my judgment. But I promised Xae and Rath that I wouldn't fuck anyone until I was sure I was falling for them.”
“I'm not trying to get in your little sex club,” Jath growled. Then he shook his head violently. “Damn it all, you clouded my judgment as well. I need to stay the fuck away from you.” He pushed up to his feet and stomped away, muttering as he went.
“Jath, I didn't mean to lead you on. Jath!”
He kept walking.
“I can't be with someone who isn't going to join us. How do you not know that?!”
Jath's shoulders bunched, but he still didn't say anything or stop walking.
I watched him round a corner, then I let my head fall back to the ground and stared up at the ripe fruit hanging above me. “Damn it, I'm never going to enjoy oranges again.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Eight days later, I was out with Kel on yet another date. He'd taken me to dinner on a boat. A really large boat. I guess that made it a ship. Anyway, it had been lovely, and after we returned to the citadel, we walked upstairs hand-in-hand. When I stopped before his room, Kel lifted a brow at me.
“You know how Xae gets,” I said. “And I'd like to kiss you goodnight.”
“You could come in,” Kel suggested hopefully.
“I'm close, but not ready for sex yet. If I go in, we're going to make out on your bed, and it will be far harder to resist you on a bed.”
“You've done it before.”
“It's gotten more difficult.”
He chuckled. “At least I'm hard to resist.”
“Oh, you have no idea.” I grabbed Kel's horns and pulled his head down for a kiss.
I loved Keltyr's horns. And his tail. And his lips. And the rest of him. I wasn't lying when I said it was hard to resist him. But even as I kissed him and groaned through the pleasure of that contact, another man rose in my mind. Another kiss. And it wasn't one of my lovers.
I tried not to wince when I eased away, but it was difficult. I felt like a crazy person. Or an idiot. Both. I knew Jath was bad news, at least as far as I was concerned. I knew he only wanted to fuck me, had no interest in falling in love with me or receiving the power I could give him. Still, I wanted him. I thought about him when I was with men who did love me or were trying to. It was stupid. I blamed my dick.
But you know what they say, the dick wants what the dick wants.
“Goodnight,” I said to Kel. “See you tomorrow.”
