“I think about them often too,” a new voice said.
Fuck, I'd forgotten that I was talking to an invisible entity. In public.
I looked over my shoulder as Jath came up beside me. “Oh, hey.” I cleared my throat. “How are you? Are you feeling more at home yet?”
I had seen Jath from afar several times every day, but I hadn't spoken to him since the night I'd discovered the empty graves. Had I even spoken to him then? He had asked if I was all right, but I hadn't answered, had I? No, Xae answered for me. And then, later that night, Jath had posed that obnoxious question to all the Wraith Lords.
Is there anyone here who isn't panting after Ember?
Ouch. That still stung. Probably why I hadn't talked to him. That and I'd decided to ignore and avoid Jath as much as possible. I didn't need my ego crushed. I liked feeling good about myself. If I had to ignore someone to do it, so be it.
“Yes, uh.” Jath laid a hand on my shoulder.
I stopped walking and turned to face him. “Is there something wrong?”
“Yes, me. I was wrong, and I wanted to apologize to you.”
“About what?”
“The night you . . . found the desecrated graves. I said something I shouldn't have.”
I didn't pretend to not understand. “Yeah, that was a little surprising.”
“I've been battling myself over you.” His wings shivered as he pulled them in close. “I said I didn't blame you for what happened to my trainees, but I lied.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“I'm not blind. You obviously have a problem with me.”
“Yes, but it's my problem. I need to deal with it. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I just . . . I was worried about you when you went missing. Then I saw Xaedren carrying you out of the arrival chamber, and I heard what happened.” He shook his head. “I was upset. For you. When everyone reacted to the news, I saw your face. You looked so broken. And there they all were, shouting about the Corrupter, making things worse for you. I couldn't stop myself from speaking up on your behalf. And then I, well, I felt—”
“You felt as if you had betrayed your dead,” I said softly. “By supporting me.”
“Yes,” he whispered.
“And that guilt bubbled up until it exploded in that nasty question.”
“Yes.” He lowered his head. “I'm sorry.”
“It's all right.” I turned to walk away.
Jath grabbed my arm. “Look, Ember. I know their deaths aren't your fault. I know that. I do. But my heart hurts every time I look at you. I'll get over it, and I'll try not to attack you like that again. But please don't be offended if I avoid you as I've been doing.”
Huh. So I wasn't the only one doing some avoiding.
“Actually, that works for me. I've been trying to ignore you too.”
“Because of how I've treated you,” he concluded morosely.
“No, because I find you attractive, and you're not trying to seduce me like everyone else in this citadel.”
“Excuse me?” Jath gaped at me.
“I'm happy with Xae and Rath. I can't even imagine what I'd do with—no, that was going to sound naughty. Let's just say that I have enough lovers in my bed. But I need to empower more Wraith Lords to help us end this war. That means that I have to fall in love with another man. Do you know how hard it is to fall in love when it's obvious that the men trying to court you are only doing it for the greater good?”
He blinked and swayed back. “What?”
