The pain in Xae's eyes melted. “I love you so much, Ember.”
“I love you too.” I cupped his face. “I will never betray you.”
“It's not a betrayal if I consent.”
“Consent?!” I jerked back. “Youwantme to do this?”
Xaedren hunched his shoulders and stared at the ground.
“We're not asking you to return to the citadel and take the first man you see to your bed, Ember,” the Emperor said. “It needs to be about more than sex. I believe sex is simply the vehicle of transfer—the tangible action that solidified your bond. But without the love between you, it would have been worthless.”
My mind instantly turned to Rath. I looked at Xaedren and saw that he was already there. He'd thought of Rath before I had.
“No,” I whispered. “I won't hurt you like that.”
“You care about him,” Xae said, then swallowed roughly.
“But I fell in love with you, Xae.” I took his hand. “Not him.”
“Would this be Lord Ratharin you're referring to?” the Emperor asked.
I swiveled my head to glare at the Emperor.
He chuckled as he held his hands up. “I'm just trying to say that I saw how drawn you were to each other. Frankly, I thought you'd take Lord Ratharin for your lover.”
“He didn't want to risk a relationship with someone who will eventually die,” I said.
Xaedren made a wounded sound.
My gaze shot back to him. “Why does that hurt you?”
“You wanted him first,” Xae said. “You only chose me because Ratharin rejected you.”
“They are two separate things,” I said firmly. “Rath and I had that talk when I first arrived at the citadel. He ended things before they started. And it was weeks after that when we got together. I chose you because I wanted you. You weren't my second choice, Xae. You weren't even an option back when Rath rejected me.”
Xaedren's face twitched, but he nodded.
“You see?” I waved at him, then glared at the Emperor. “I'm already hurting him, and we're only talking about it.”
“As with anything, I won't force you, Ember,” the Emperor said. “I hope your heart will guide you to your destiny, but if it's telling you to remain monogamous with Lord Xaedren, I will not push you into another relationship. This is your decision.”
I grimaced. “Sure it is.”
“It is,” the Emperor insisted. “I am more than pleased that you are training and have displayed such progress. And the power you've given unto Lord Xaedren will help significantly.”
“But it won't end the war,” I whispered.
“I don't believe so,” the Emperor said gently. “But, Ember, the Goddess does not command. This is not an order to be obeyed. It is a prediction. I'm only warning you of what may come so you may prepare for it. I am not commanding you either. Hearts cannot be commanded.”
“But if my heart doesn't love someone else, the war will never end,” I said wearily. “Why does everything good in my life come at a cost?”
“Ember, I truly believe this will bring you joy. You and all the men you love.”
“No offense, Your Imperial Majesty, but that's a load of bullshit.”
The Emperor nodded sadly. “I understand. I would be upset as well if I were you.”
“Take me home, Xae.” I wrapped my arms around Xaedren's waist and latched on.
