“My father. I hated him!” Niko leaned onto his knees. “There, I've said it. He was a vicious, cruel man who only took, never gave, and I hated him. I hated him so much that I've turned into another version of him.”
“No, you haven't, Niko.”
“I have. Except where he was obsessed with war, I'm obsessed with . . .” Nikolay stared at me for several long moments before asking, “How can you stand my touch?”
I took his glass and set it aside, then took his hand. “We're immortal, Nikolay. That means that we have eternity to become who we want to be.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If you hate yourself so much, then change.”
“So simple, eh?”
“No, it's not simple, but it is possible. Start with something small, then go from there.”
“Something small?” His stare went to my lips.
I lifted his hand and kissed it. “Spend a night alone, Niko. With yourself. Take a good look at who you are now and think about who you want to be. That's a good first step.”
“You say it as if you've done it yourself.”
“I have.” I grinned. “Can't you tell?”
Niko made a huffing laugh that was anything but amused. “Yes, I can tell. You have changed, my sweet Misha. Maybe you're not so sweet anymore.”
“Was that sweetness, Your Majesty? Or was it blind obedience?”
He gaped at me.
“Goodnight, Niko. And good luck.” I kissed his cheek, stood up, and left before his bewildered, drunken brain processed that I was leaving.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I heard the footsteps halfway back to my chambers.
A glance over my shoulder showed me nothing, but the corridor lights were sporadic, leaving many shadows to hide in. I sped up. The footsteps matched my pace. Another glance back. Nothing but darkness. I broke into a run.
No one else was in the corridors. No one to help me. No one to run to. If I could just make it to my rooms, I could lock the door and possibly get to Kon's gun before my pursuer broke in.
“Lord Mikhail!” someone hissed behind me.
I stumbled to a stop and turned. “Gleb?”
Gleb came running into a halo of light, then stopped to lean forward onto his knees. Panting, he said, “Why were you running?”
“I thought you were the murderer!”
“Me?”
“I didn't know it was you.” I grimaced at him. “What do you need, Gleb? Why are you following me?”
The boy's eyes darted around the dark hallway. With a burst of movement, he charged me. I had only a second to call myself a fool. Konstantin said to trust no one, and I hadn't listened. I'd let Gleb's youth blind me. I lifted my hands to fight him off, and something slid into my grip.
Leaning next to my ear, Gleb whispered, “We are with you, Mikhail. You are not alone.”
Then he raced away.
“What the fuck?” I whispered as I stared after him.
