Cat started to growl at Raza.
“Fine, you're right, I should have mentioned Killian,” I agreed. “The whole thing was surreal, and you were being so sweet, and then the Tiernan thing... I couldn't drop Killian on you too. Not when I'm not even sure about him.”
Raza cracked his neck and stretched his wings. Never a good sign.
Cat's fur went on end, her lips pulling back in a snarl.
“Easy now,” I laid a comforting hand on Cat. “This is just a conversation.”
“Killian would be good for her,” Tiernan said gently. “You know she needs someone human, at least part human. Without that, she'll fade, Raza. We'll lose her.”
“She can have him as a friend,” Raza transferred his glare to Tiernan. “She doesn't have to spread her legs for him.”
“Wow, this got ugly fast,” I shook my head in disbelief. “What happened to 'whatever brings you joy'? You couldn't even last one night. See? This is exactly what I didn't want. This,” I pointed back and forth between them. “I can't do this. We're going to destroy each other, and that is the opposite of what this sort of relationship should be about. If being together doesn't strengthen us, then Danu was wrong. I was wrong. Maybe all of this is just plain wrong.”
I started to walk out. Raza grabbed me by the arm and spun me around.
“No, Seren, you don't get to say it's forever, then just walk away,” Raza growled.
“She's good at that,” Tiernan sighed.
“Fuck you, Tiernan,” I hissed. Then I turned to Raza, “I wasn't walking away from you, I was walking away from all of this,” I waved my hand around to include the three of us. “You made the offer of consorts, not I.”
“Seren,” Tiernan shook his head. “You know you do it. Every time things get difficult, you bolt. You think that love shouldn't be hard, or something foolish like that. Of course, it's hard!” Tiernan got up into my face. “You want easy? Go be with someone you don't actually care about. Someone who will agree with everything you say and never challenge you. That will be easy. Real love is rough. It's fierce, like a wild animal. Strong enough to shield you from harm, but also savage enough to tear you apart. That's the beauty of it. It can be messy and complicated, but it can also be glorious and inspiring. The most sublime thing you'll ever experience. Isn't that worth a little conflict, Seren?”
I stared at Tiernan, then looked to Raza. Their chests heaved with their emotions, and I realized I was shaking too. Was Tiernan right? Could we become something sublime? Could we take this chaos and force it into order? Goddess, I hoped so, because I loved them both. Fiercely, like that wild animal Tiernan spoke of. But loving was the easy part, it was taming the beast which took work. Perhaps it was time to put in the effort.
I rushed forward and they both caught me. I just grabbed at them blindly, one arm around each man. Their faces came to rest beside mine, and I had a moment of blissful epiphany. I was the bridge between them. Pressed together like that, we formed a physical symbol of what we could become. For ourselves and for all of Fairy.
“Yes,” I whispered, “this is worth a little conflict.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
I thought it would be awkward or strange, but after I held them like that, it seemed so natural to turn my head and kiss Raza... and then Tiernan. Neither of them recoiled or resisted. They held me while I made that small declaration of my love and intent. For us, for this, and maybe for more.
But I wasn't ready for more than that small gesture. Things were building up between us, and I needed to take that climb slowly. So I kissed Tiernan goodnight, a sweet melding of lips and promises for more. A reunion for us really, but also the beginning of a stronger version of us. I sank into that kiss with him, into the joy of touching him once more without guilt or anger between us. And the most amazing part was, when I pulled away from him, I saw Raza standing there, hand outstretched, with a smile on his face. Waiting for me.
“Alright,” Raza kissed my forehead. “You can have your hunter, your dragon, and your lizard too.”
“You're okay with Killian?” I lifted my brows.
“I'm okay with the possibility of him,” Raza amended. “You can date him. Figure out if he will actually make you happy. If he will...”
“Fit into this arrangement?” I asked.
“Exactly,” Tiernan answered for Raza. “Adding a consort should be a joint decision, a matter for all of us. Raza and I should be able to say no if things with Killian look like they're going badly.”
“Or if it's endangering our relationships,” Raza added.
“Fair enough,” I said breathlessly.
Was this really happening?
We went back to the celebration together, me in a bit of a daze. Raza seemed happier than I'd seen him in ages. Tiernan must have been haunting him as much as he haunted me. The specter of lost love. Now we'd dealt with Tiernan. Not by exorcising him, but by bringing him back to life. Accepting him into the fold. The worst was over, conquered, and I suppose that brought a measure of peace with it.
Plus, there was the fact that I had agreed to marry Raza.
Marriage. I swayed in my seat as it hit me.Trulyhit me. I was doing this. I was joining my life to Raza's. Forever. And that's quite a long commitment for a fairy. But then I looked at him, and instantly calmed. This man was willing to conquer his very nature for me, the least I could do was conquer my silly issues about commitment.
