“Shit. I’m sorry, I—”
“No, Izzy. You tried to tell us,” Justin interrupted him in a gentle voice Izzy hadn’t heard before.
“Yeah. This was your first panic attack outside nightmares here, right?” Wyatt kept touching him as they sat on the floor, and Izzy found that it let him come down softly and slowly, which was what he needed right then.
“Yeah, I…I think this is what they are like without…” He looked down and shook his head. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Without weed,” Justin concluded, and Izzy nodded. “I’m sorry, Izzy, I didn’t know it was this bad.”
“You thought it was an excuse to get high,” Wyatt said bluntly, his tone filled with blame towards his brother.
“Wy, please don’t—”
“No, he’s right. I didn’t believe you fully.”
When Izzy looked at Justin, he saw his boss wiping a hand over his face tiredly.
“I just…it seemed safe, you know? I don’t like pills, even if I could afford them. I don’t want the risks and weed is…” Izzy shrugged. “I don’t even like it, but it’s the only thing that relaxes me after I have one of those dreams and…I didn’t really know I could have panic attacks from triggers like this.”
“Well, apparently you can,” Justin said softly.
“Here, let’s get up and go sit down on the other couch,” Wyatt murmured.
It took some effort to get his body to work again after being curled up in a corner for a while. Izzy felt shaky and would’ve stumbled without Wyatt being there to balance and support him.
Once they settled on the couch adjacent from Justin’s and Wyatt curled up against Izzy, still holding his hand and making sure the connection was there.
“I don’t even want to think what would’ve happened if someone left the TV on at the end of the day and you were the last one to leave, Izzy,” Justin continued his thought. “I think we need to get you that medical marijuana card, just in case.”
Izzy frowned. “I don’t think—”
“Izzy, it’s either that or having Ativan at hand.” Justin’s tone was serious, even caring. “I’m so sorry for everything that has happened. But you’re going to be part of the family and we take care of our own.”
Wyatt made a little sound and squeezed Izzy’s fingers more tightly.
“I could get edibles, if I had the card,” Izzy said quietly. “I don’t like smoking it’s…I just don’t like the smell or the burn.”
“Yeah, I’ve emailed our doctor and he’ll figure it all out for you. I’d also recommend therapy, but you’re an adult and you’ll get to make that decision for yourself.” Justin grinned a bit, making Izzy smile back weakly.
“I should get back to work.” Izzy felt awkward as it was, having lost time.
“You’ll take the rest of the day off with Wyatt.” Justin got off the couch and stretched. “And Wy, your Dad needs your help around ten tomorrow at the studio, so if you’d be home by then?”
Wyatt tensed, then relaxed, and nodded. “Okay.”
With that, Justin went back to work, leaving Izzy and Wyatt sitting on the couch a bit speechless.
“That was…” Izzy huffed.
“Yeah.”
“Well, I guess we could go to the trailer and take a nap?”
“A nap sounds good.” Wyatt sounded exhausted, and Izzy could understand.
“I’m sorry I worried you, sweetheart,” he murmured, kissing Wyatt’s forehead gently.
“This is a relationship, Izzy. It’s the good and the bad and everything in between, right?”
