Chapter 20
It felt like a miracle, being able to spend time with Wyatt again. Izzy wasn’t invited to another family dinner yet, but he hadn’t expected it and if invited, he wouldn’t have gone. He would’ve found an excuse. Because Justin…well, Justin was trying his best, but things were still strained between them.
It lasted until one morning, when after a badly slept, nightmare-ridden night, Izzy had an anxiety attack in the break room.
One moment he was fine, just tired and trying his best to soldier on with his workday like everyone has done at some point in their life. The TV in the corner was on as usual, but someone had left it on a documentary channel and just as Izzy was going to the fridge to get milk for his coffee, his brain perked up and absently, he heard the sound of prison cell bars closing with that rattling thud.
Something switched in his brain. An irrational feeling of fear washed over him.
They’ll send me back. Oh my God, they’ll send me back!
His knees gave way, and he collapsed into the corner of the kitchen area where the cabinets met. He curled up there, shaking and struggling to breathe. Everything got fuzzy then.
Please don’t send me back, please, I promise I’ll be good, just don’t send me back, please, don’t make me go back…
“…Izzy, what are you talking about? Izzy? Come on, man?”
“Justin, I don’t know what’s wrong with him!”
I don’t want to go! Please, I’ll do anything, I don’t want to go back, please…
“Someone turn off that fucking TV!”
“…as fast as you can.”
“Izzy, breathe for me, okay?”
The door banged, and Izzy flinched, curled up as he was still. Then arms wrapped around him, and suddenly Wyatt’s scent enveloped him.
“Hey, it’s okay, Izzy. I’m here now. You’re not going anywhere.”
“W-Wy?” Izzy gasped.
“Yeah, yeah Izzy, I’m here. It’s okay. Just breathe.” Wyatt grabbed his hand and put it on his own chest. “Breathe with me, okay. Just like this.”
Izzy came to slowly, like his brain was turning on section at a time. The fear lingered, and at first he didn’t even know what made him so scared.
“W-what happened?” he stuttered into Wyatt’s chest.
“There was a documentary on the TV,” Justin said from somewhere nearby.
Izzy shrunk again, closer to Wyatt still. Justin. Justin was mad at him. Hated him. This was not good. Izzy started to tremble.
“Hey baby, it’s okay, Justin isn’t mad at you.”
He clutched Wyatt’s shirt and tried to keep breathing.
Izzy wasn’t sure how long it took for him to actually be able to feel even relatively normal again. By the time he could let go of Wyatt and uncurl from his ball of anxiety, Justin was sitting on a couch on the other side of the room, scrolling away on his phone.
“There you are.” Wyatt smiled at him, then kissed him gently.
Izzy groaned, feeling embarrassed as fuck. “How long did I…”
“Over half an hour. Good thing Lou found you fast. He saw you go down.”
Izzy couldn’t even remember Lou being in the room.
“And Justin called me,” Wyatt added, then took his hand and squeezed his fingers.
