“Okay. I’ll come up with something while we eat.”
The tension between them kept growing pleasantly as they waited to get their pizzas out of the oven and then sat down to eat.
Mark ate less than usual, and even the amount he managed to get down seemed to be a struggle.
Finally, Francis smiled at him. “It’s okay.” He reached to place his hand over Mark’s and waited for him to make eye contact. “You can eat later.” Then he squeezed Mark’s fingers. “Go take a shower while I finish my meal. Make it a really thorough one.” Mark’s eyes widened and his Adam’s apple bobbed. He was about to open his mouth when Francis shook his head. “No. I won’t tell you anything yet. Tonight is for you to take whatever I give you and concentrate on me only. Do you understand, darling?”
Mark blinked a few times, then lowered his gaze and nodded. “Okay. I… I still have my safewords, right?”
“Hey, look at me.” When Mark did, Francis made deliberate eye contact and held it for several seconds in silence. “You willalwayshave your words. I willalwayslisten for them and never, ever ignore them.”
He chose not to talk about the situations before, when he’d skipped aftercare because they both knew they were past that. He waited for Mark to smile slightly.
“All right. Do you want me to get dressed after I shower?”
Francis made a show of pondering on the choice. “Well, I guess sweats and a sleeveless top will do.”
Mark nodded and got up. He put his half-eaten slice onto the counter and hovered for a few seconds.
“Don’t worry, I’ll put the food away once it’s cooled enough.” Francis saw the tense way Mark moved, and cleared his throat. “Come here, darling.” When Mark took a few steps back to him, Francis reached up and grabbed the front of his T-shirt. He pulled Mark down and took his mouth in a bruising kiss. “Think of what I want, and I’ll give you everything you don’t know how to ask for, gorgeous.”
Mark blinked at him, seeming a bit dazed. “Okay.”
“And from now on, unless you have to use your safewords or need me to come to you when we’re in different rooms, you stay quiet. Eye contact is fine, I like to see your eyes,” Francis murmured. “But if it feels too much to look at me, you can lower yours. Now go shower.”
Mark nodded, a small smile on his lips as he let his gaze drop to Francis’s chin. Then he turned and moved efficiently to the back of the house.
Francis couldn’t help but grin. He hoped he’d chosen the right thing for tonight, something enough to take Mark out of his head, but not too much of a mind fuck to make him anxious. Then again, if Mark listened to him and did as Francis told him, there wouldn’t be anything to worry about.
Francis had done research for ideas for simple scenes. The more he got to know what made Mark tick, the more his thoughts on what they could do together refined. When it came to what they were doing together, Francis firmly believed that it paid off to not try out things he wasn’t at least sixty-five percent sure would work with Mark and his issues.
He didn’t want Mark to have to use his safeword. If Francis could make a wish, it would be to be able to give Mark exactly what he needed, nothing more, and nothing less. Of course, real life rarely worked like that, but if he managed to file down the corners a bit, make things a bit easier from the beginning instead of flying blind, he’d take it.
Francis listened to the shower as he ate the rest of his slices, then went to deal with the remaining food and clean up the kitchen.
This was the first time they’d do anything truly sexual after the incident that had triggered Francis, but he knew there was no danger of that happening again. For one, it wasn’t Mark in control, and for two, Francis knew better than to stay quiet when he felt something going wrong. Or rather, he knew to be more vocal now. Not that he believed Mark would do a similar thing again. No, he’d gotten spooked enough that Francis wasn’t sure if he’d even want to top, at least not without Francis being fully in control of the situation.
The shower turned on for a second time, and Francis smiled. At least Mark was taking his advice on being thorough seriously. He went to sit on the couch and waited. The TV was on mute, a documentary about something or other plodding on.
Mark appeared in his peripheral vision, holding himself a bit stiffly.
“Bring the lube from the bedroom,” Francis said, without taking his eyes off the TV screen.
Mark shuffled away and then back again, this time coming around the couch to stand next to the coffee table.
“Good,” Francis murmured and took the lube, placing it on the couch cushion. He looked at the windows. “Go make sure the blinds are down, but half open. Make it so that if anyone comes to the front porch and looks in, they can see inside.”
Mark jerked into motion again. When he turned back to Francis after finishing his task, he seemed halfway intrigued and halfway terrified.Perfect.
“Now get something to drink from the kitchen, whatever you’d like, and bring it to the coffee table.”
He watched as Mark went to get a bottle of water from the fridge and placed it onto a coaster.
“Come here. Straddle my lap.” Francis smiled at Mark’s ever shifting expressions. He was trying to read the situation, anticipate what Francis wanted, and that didn’t really work. As soon as Mark settled on top of him, Francis said, “Look at me.”
Mark snapped his gaze to Francis’s.
“Remember what I told you? I’m making the decisions and you’re going to do as I say, right?” Francis waited for Mark to nod. “That also means that you don’tneedto try and anticipate my every move. That’s the beauty of it all, Mark.” He lifted a hand to cup Mark’s cheek. “You have your words. Other than that, just let go.”
