Ben just stared. Then the hilarity of the situation hit him full force, and he snorted. It escalated into a chuckle, then a belly laugh, and after a moment they were both hiccupping with giggles, wiping tears from their eyes.
The light turning off by itself made them laugh more. Eventually, they calmed down, cuddled closer to each other, and kissed goodnight.
***
Ben was at work, finishing up raking the multi-colored autumn leaves from the yard of an old lady, when his cell rang with Adrian’s designated ringtone. He took off his gloves and reached for his phone, knowing something had to be wrong.
“Babe?” he asked, the word slipping out for the maybe the second time, ever.
“I… Gavin’s ashes. I just got them.” The tone of Adrian’s voice was off. Upset. More than Ben had anticipated, but he knew grief worked in unpredictable ways.
“Oh, do you want me to come over? I’m off work in an hour and a half,” Ben said, already calculating when he’d have to start the drive back the next morning to get into work in time.
“You don’t have to,” Adrian said, but his voice betrayed him.
Ben knew Adrian didn’t have many people in his life, and certainly nobody who knew the situation as well as he did.
“No, I’ll ask Ross if I can be late in the morning and I’ll head over as soon as I can. I’ll bring food, okay?” He couldn’t lie and say it would be all fine, because it might not be, not in a long time.
“Y-yeah, okay. Thank you.”
“Adrian, I… I’ll be there soon. Just hold on.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Ben put the phone away and sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Ross walked up to him, looking worried.
“Adrian got the ashes.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. I’ll head out there when we’re done here. Can I be an hour or so late in the morning?” he asked, peering at Ross.
“Ben, you can leave right now and take tomorrow off. It’s a family emergency, right?” His brother-in-law asked, eyebrows scrunching into his “serious” expression. “So you get time off. Go on. I’ll finish up here. See you on Monday.”
Ben blinked a couple of times, then clapped Ross’s arm in passing, and walked to his truck before he started to cry.
Damn it.Even Ross had been really good about Ben’s whole gay thing and Adrian. He didn’t know how they’d met, of course, but he was as supportive as Ben’s sister. This, however, seemed like a lot to Ben, but he wasn’t about to look the gift horse in the mouth, no sir.
He drove home to pack a bag and called in an order to Adrian’s favorite taco place with a set time for pick up. Then he got into the truck and began the drive toward his heart.
It didn’t surprise him anymore. They hadn’t used the words, and they hadn’t talked feelings, but it all went without saying. They’d spent more nights together, but with the way Ben’s work was at home and Adrian’s art taking his time quite sporadically, there hadn’t been many sleepovers.
They’d exchanged hand jobs and Adrian had blown him once. He wanted to reciprocate but it hadn’t quite been the suitable moment. Anything more than that had to wait.
He got to the farm around five-thirty with the food. Spike was nowhere to be seen, which worried Ben until he found the dog with Adrian and a box of ashes in the living room.
Adrian hugged the dog to his chest and stared at the box on the coffee table.
It felt weird to see a person diminished into a small cardboard box, but there it sat. Over the last few months, Ben had heard more stories about Gavin, and he liked the man based on those stories. Hell, even before he’d met Adrian, he’d sort of formed a connection with Gavin’s ghost.
Ben took the food into the kitchen and put his bag in the bedroom, then walked to sit on Adrian’s other side. Spike didn’t care, it seemed, so Ben pulled them both as close to him as he could.
They sat in silence for a long time. Adrian hiccupped a sob here and there, but mostly they just breathed together, soaking in the comfort of each other.
