My heart wasn’t nearly as heavy as it had been when I’d gone into her room. It had been a long day, a long few weeks, but I suddenly had hope that we would get through this.
Chapter 16
Riot
Relaxing was overrated.How the hell was I supposed to just sit there when the world was crumbling down around me?
The water was steaming as it filled the tub. Shit, was it too hot? I dipped my fingers in and oww! Oh goddamn, way too hot. I quickly turned the faucet colder. I filled baths every fucking day, so how had I suddenly forgotten how to do this shit?
I paced the bathroom impatiently, waiting for it to fill. This was a terrible idea. How was I supposed to rest? The boys were probably so confused. I should check on them at least. And I hadn’t gotten any clothes out for tomorrow. No lunches had been made. Homework needed to be checked. I had to call my lawyer about Aren, and maybe the schools to confirm he was on the no pick up list in case he decided to show up again.
I should also call the hospital for an update on Cara. They were supposed to call if anything changed, but I always liked to double-check.
I shut off the water once it seemed filled enough and dipped my fingers back in to check the temperature. Fuck, was it too cold now? Whatever. I stripped out of my clothes and threw them in the hamper we kept in the corner. Then I climbed in.
I sat awkwardly in the middle of the tub, waiting for this magical calm to fill me. Why did so many people love baths? Nothing about this soothed me. They were all full of shit. A bunch of bath propaganda, because this was just awkward.
Bubbles! Storm only loved baths with bubbles. Maybe that was what was missing? Yeah, that had to be it. I felt so . . . exposed like this. I climbed out, wincing at the amount of water that puddled on the floor.It’s fine, Riot. That’s what towels are for.
I rummaged under the sink and found some bubble bath. I drained a little of the water so it wouldn’t overflow and then turned it back on to add the soap. I stood, dripping and shivering, staring into the tub as it refilled.
There. That was better.
I stepped back in and sat. Fuck, why was it so cold?
The bubbles smelled like cotton candy. Which, I guessed was my fault for using something meant for a toddler. The scent was so damn strong though. It was like I was at a fucking carnival. Oh god, I was going to smell like cotton candy, wasn’t I? Great look for a grown ass man.
Relax, Riot. You got this. I forced myself to lean back against the cold ass tub and close my eyes.
Rest. Stop worrying. It’ll be fine.
Except, how could it be? I’d never seen Wynter so upset in my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about her sitting there alone in that McDonald’s, crying and scared. And then the things she’d said after . . . It had been the right call for Koa to talk to her. They clearly had shit to work out, but it didn’t stop me from feeling guilty about giving him that responsibility. Even after all these years, sometimes I still forgot I wasn’t alone in this.
“Fuck this,” I mumbled after five minutes. I climbed out, grabbed a towel, and pulled the drain. I’d tell Koa I tried. That should be enough. I’d get dressed, check on the boys, and thengo back downstairs. I wouldn’t interrupt Koa and Wynter, but I could discreetly check on them. Just to, you know, see.
Of all the things that had happened today, the shit Wynter had said to Koa had me the most shaken.
I dried off and left the bathroom without even glancing at the mirror. I did not need to know what I looked like. I could only imagine. Whatever, the crazed artist aesthetic was a vibe.
I put my underwear on and an old pair of Koa’s sweatpants. They were too big, but they were soft and warm and were much better than any of my clothes. I paired them with my favorite Spartan’s football shirt. Koa’s old one from his first year coaching. I buried my nose in it. It didn’t matter how many times it had been washed or I’d worn it, it still smelled like Koa and no one could tell me differently.
I checked my phone in case the hospital had called—they hadn’t—then opened my bedroom door to check in with everyone.
“Where are you going?”
Koa raised an eyebrow at me but couldn’t completely hide his amusement.
I ignored his comment, too busy scanning every inch of him, trying to gauge how he was feeling.
He was tired, drained, but a lot of the tension from earlier was gone. His face was a little puffy, like he had been crying, but I didn’t think that was necessarily a bad thing.
I grabbed his hands. “How are you?”
Koa’s eyes darkened, his expression changing to something deeper, more intense. He crowded into me, cupping my face as he back-walked me into the room.
He kicked the door closed.
My knees hit the edge of the bed. Koa gently pushed me back so I was sitting down and then straddled me, kissing me hard.Once, twice, three times before pulling back. “I need you so fucking much, Ri.”
