“Hey,” I started awkwardly, having no idea where to even begin.
Wynter rolled her eyes. “If you’re coming in here to yell at me, just get it over with already.”
“I’m not going to yell at you. I think Knox did that enough for all of us.”
“Asshole,” she muttered, her face in her knees as she looked at the window.
“He went a little far,” I agreed. “But he was scared. We all were.”
“I already know I messed up, okay?”
“I know you do. I’m not here to reinforce that. I know you get it. I’m sorry that we put you in a position where you felt like you had to lie and sneak around when your dad contacted you. Both Riot and I are so proud that you called him when things went wrong, but clearly we went wrong somewhere if you felt it wouldn’t be safe to tell us when he reached out.”
She turned her head slightly but still wouldn’t fully look at me. “I just knew y’all would freak out. Probably call the cops or something. And never give him a chance.”
I frowned. She wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t imagine a scenario where either of us would’ve been okay with it. “You’re right,” I conceded. “And while it would’ve come from a place of love and wanting to protect you, it would’ve been the wrong way to handle it. I would love to say we would’ve heard you out and come up with some other scenario so you could’ve seen him, but that’s probably hindsight talking.”
That did the trick. She finally turned to look at me. Her eyes were wet again. “I-I should’ve told you. I get that. But he was so nice. Telling me how sorry he was that he’d missed me growing up. How he’d thought about me every day while in prison. He had me doubting the story you and Knox always told. I knew he’d hurt Riot. He even admitted it, but he said it had just gotten out of hand. That Riot had attacked him first. But I should’ve known he was full of shit. Riot’s not like that at all, but?—”
“You wanted to believe him.”
I stood up and sat on the edge of the bed. She didn’t stop me or try to put distance between us.
“Yeah, I really did. You probably all think I’m stupid.”
“Hey, enough of that. No one thinks that, at all. I don’t want you thinking about yourself that way. You made a mistake, yes, but it wasn’t believing that your dad had changed. It was lying about practice, going on a bus by yourself, and meeting him in a whole different town, when we had no idea where you were. Wanting your dad to be different and care, Wynter, that’s human. As much as I know it will never happen, I still wish sometimes that my aunt would forgive me and we could have a relationship. She hurt me so badly when she kicked me out and disowned me, and then hurt me more recently with the things she said to Riot, but if she called right now and apologized andasked to make amends, I would try. She’s the last tie I have to my mom, and even if she refused to talk about her or Hawaii, that tie is still important to me and I wish I had it.” I fiddled with my bracelet, the one I’d worn every single day since my dad had bought it for me. “So of course you want that. Riot gets it, and so do I.”
“I feel so dumb. Like, Iknowthat they’re messed up. I don’t remember everything, but obviously they wouldn’t dump four kids on a teenager if they were regular parents. And I know Riot and you try to shield us from how bad it was, but Knox is always honest about what he remembers when I ask.” Of course he was. He had no patience for anything having to do with their childhood or their parents. While I hadn’t been there for the hearing when Riot had gotten custody, I had heard Knox’s statements after the fact. At ten years old, he’d laid out fact after fact to the court without hesitation. “But still, I just had to try, you know? I’m sorry I lied though,” Wynter continued.
I squeezed her ankle. “I know you are.”
I took a deep breath, trying to formulate my thoughts for the rest of this and how I wanted to approach it.
“I shouldn’t have said that about you. I’m sorry,” Wyn blurted out before I had a chance.
I met her eyes. “Honey, I know, but it came from somewhere. I love you, I love all of you, and I’ve always felt like part of this family even before it was official. But if you don’t feel that way, I need to know. I get that sometimes you say things in anger, but they have an origin. Something’s bothering you, and I don’t want it to fester anymore.”
“You are part of this family. I always thought that. I did. But then Dad, I don’t know. I let him get in my head, I guess. It messed with me. He started saying things. Telling me how you infiltrated the family, that you were trying to replace him. That it was weird that you had so much interest in kids not related toyou. All kinds of stuff. And I already said he completely flipped that day on its head. I-I was convinced that all of you were lying to me just to gang up on him, so I wouldn’t want to see him. I know it’s crazy. But it’s what happened.”
That fucker. We’d have to do something about him, but I had no idea what. It was on the long list of things Ri and I still had to talk about.
“I’m sorry, Wynter. That has to be really hard. Especially when you’re relying mostly on other people’s stories.”
She shrugged. “I guess. I wanted to believe him so badly, it made me forget the people who had always been there.”
“I know Ri and I haven’t always been forthcoming on all the details, both about that day or anything else from before, but that was us trying to protect you. Maybe it was the wrong approach. If you have any questions, you can ask. I promise I’ll tell you the truth. Maybe if we were more honest from the beginning, you would’ve felt safe talking to us.”
I had a feeling Riot wouldn’t be thrilled, but it was the only thing that felt right. He wanted to protect the younger ones, and I got it, absolutely, but Wynter was also valid and deserved answers. Real ones. Not the sugar-coated ones we’d told in the past.
“Can you tell me what happened that day? From your point of view, please? I think I need to hear it.”
So I did. I told her everything. What had happened, how I’d felt. What it had been like to open the door and see Knox there, carrying her. How I’d driven to their trailer. The absolute fucking terror I’d had when I’d seen Riot and thought he was dead. All of it. Then I answered her other questions. Things about Riot when he’d been younger. What I’d seen from my outside perspective.
I had no idea how long we were down there, but by the time we were done talking, we both were crying and my throat wasraw from how much I’d spoken. We were exhausted, physically and mentally drained, but somehow it was better. There was an understanding between us that hadn’t been there in a long time, if ever.
As I was getting up to leave, Wynter stopped me and gave me a quick hug. “Thank you, Koa.”
“Any time. I mean that.”
